Joe Smith

Brexiter. Jensen Interceptor owner. Have 3 kids and an annoying missus. Love me cuntry, Carling and sosig rolls. Hate muzerlimbs, poofs, vegerns and dworfs

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

In local. Sippin carlins. Watching F1. Oasis playin on the radio. Perfect day to be British. No surrender

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Fuck sake. Me bloody Interceptor broke down. Now stranded at the side of the road in Oldham. Pakis are swarming over there. AA van is 1 hours away. Not a local in sight. Fearing for me life

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Back in local. Tears of joy as a sit down and ask for a carlin. Can’t hold back the tears as a gulp it down in one. Sing rule Britannia on the kareeokee machine. Everyone singing in unison. Good to have the local back

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Just headbutted the TV license fella. Should teach him for knocking on me door when am getting head off me missus. Wanker

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

@Brexitbaz2 Can’t wait for the locals to open back up, haven’t had a lukewarm carlin since March

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Father’s Day. Kids walk in wiv presents. Yungest sniggering. Fink nothing of it and open the box. Get sprayed with water. Seeing red. Sprint upstairs and chuck yungest’s Xbox out the window. Yungest crying. Missus screaming. Going local to clear me head, fumin

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

@BigDaveFromDow1 @TroyTur45573905 @nigelphillipsGB Cheers

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Miss the local everyday

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

@BigDaveFromDow1 @TroyTur45573905 @nigelphillipsGB Will be bringing me crowbar with me just incase

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

@BigDaveFromDow1 @TroyTur45573905 @nigelphillipsGB Will be on me way soon

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

@BigDaveFromDow1 @TroyTur45573905 Wuld like to know meself dave

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

@TroyTur45573905 Cheers troy

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Hear noise upstairs. Yungest screamin. Sprint upstairs and see noncey Norris trying to kidnap him. Apocalyptic fury ensues. Grab the bald cunt by the scruff of his neck and chuck him out the window. Nobhead lands on his head. Creasing. Yungest hands me a carlin. Proud dad moment

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

@ShortBaz Well in baz

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Just sparked out a gypo for fuck all

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Can’t wait to destroy the yungest on this. Am like the white Lewis Hamilton

[Formula 1 @F1]

The first trailer for F1 2020 is here 😍

🌟 New circuits added
🔧 Become the 11th team on the grid
🎮 Race two-player split screen

🗓 Drops July 10 2020

#F1

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Carlins are running short in the smith household. Had 200 cans in the fridge. Av got only 10 now. See me yungest pouring them into the sink. Sick with rage. Sprint up to his room and boot his Xbox out the window. Hear yungest crying as it hits the ground. Creasin. Joe 1 yungest 0

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Just drop kicked a Chinese bloke. Keeping are streets safe. Thank me later

[Joe Smith @JoeSmithBrexit]

Chaos. Dealer hasn’t stopped belling me. Told him I’ve got no cash. Prick starts getting shirty. Says he wants a grand at the end of this month. Panic. Only got £12.50 and a bag of crisps. Says he’s sick of me dodging him. Hear car pull up outside. Life in jeopardy. Sick