With Volodymyr Zelenskyy doing such a great job, I know a lot of people see us stand up comedians as world leaders now.
I will do what I can to guide you, but you must do everything I say and no questions asked.
First, bring me a jeweled fedora.
This Thursday to Saturday (December 16-18) catch @justforlaughs vet @joevu right here plus great guests and hosts every show! Info/tix: https://t.co/RZIhlCDs4F
If everyone's been wondering what I've been up to during the lockdowns. I've been training my face to be slapped so I could become the best IRON FACE champion in the world one day.
https://t.co/Gc8MOWXvmh
If a person doesn't leave their name for their phone message, just skip straight to the message.
Stop having faith that by saying, "Your first message is from 4-1-6-5-3-2-5-7-4-3" I'll be like, oh! 5325743? Yah obviously that's Mark! I know everyone's phone numbers by heart.
@redmassBOP hey i was searching my name for unclaimed royalties and saw your name. Thought i'd pass on the good news that you might have a good chunk of $$$ waiting for you.
https://t.co/q86tAaH0Gc
Face readers on #IndianMatchmaking:
Takes one look at a photograh.
Joe will get married next year. He studied Psychology in Uni. It was at McMaster. On the morn of July 19 2002 he ate a hotdog with hot peppers and 2 fell off.
Let me know if you need me to be more specific.