My best Christopher Hitchens quote that applies to relationships
“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god.
Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realise that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”
When you give in a relationship without a transactional reason, your partner will tend to think they "deserve it" for simply existing.
Sounds romantic on paper, but this creates entitlement and unmet expectations
Whereas, when provided with a reason to give, both will strive to give the other person more than what they are receiving, this creates growth in the relationship.
Just like you would decide to gift your partner something valuable because they got you something valuable.
@LisaBritton Its going to be hard to get back marriage values the way they were before, i think a good question is to see why men tend to avoid marriage