Joey Headset

I like tacos!

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

"First, do no harm. Second, devour as many marbles as possible."

—Hungry Hungry Hippocratic Oath

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@nw3 @minakimes I keep thinking Amazon paid out all that money for *this*???

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@TheCreamies This is collab we've been waiting for!!!

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@NonProfitComic What was the line?

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@merlisa @SarahSpain I thought her tone initially indicated that she knew it was a silly question, but felt obliged to ask it anyway. But, yeah, the follow up question was totally unnecessary.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@streetsofrogue You have to go out and kill a dozen Mustard Monsters for the necessary crafting materials.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@streetsofrogue You can't eat unless you're actually hungry? That's a game mechanic that's totally lacking in my experience of real life.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

"So I said look man…there's so many words you could use for eating a hot dog. Munching. Chomping. Devouring. Pick any other word! But he insisted on using the original lyric."

—Producer Don Gehman, on when he tried to get John Mellencamp to change the lyrics to Jack & Diane.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@MikeMakesRight @minakimes "Oh shit... how would a stupid answer this question?!?!"

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@TheCreamies Mazel Tov!

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@ClarkGris1 @BCB_Sara You paid money for a checkmark 😂🤣😅😂

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@3YearLetterman @goldencorral @MarthaStewart @prisonfellowshp @SenatorMenendez @CLewandowski_ @GovNoemOffice @ASPCAPetIns @SarahMcLachlan @BigLots @Whitesnake Lincoln famously went onto invent the Lincoln Town Car, one of the most luxurious automobiles of the 19th century.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

Does anyone know the name of the famous Indian-American New Age author who wrote about alternative medicine? I thought I knew his name, but when I asked a librarian "where can I find the books of Tupac Chopra?", he threw a biography of Neville Chamberlain at my head :(

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@LeBatardShow @Powerade_US If the tailgate goes hard enough, might need to upgrade to electroheavies.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@YaBoiDChaps @RightWingCope It was the oopsiest of the doopsies.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@Marisa_Ingemi My running watch bleeped and told me MOVE! when I was driving home after running a half-marathon. Strong urge to throw it out the window.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

If you search WebMD for 'erection' + 'audible BOING noise', the results are... not promising :(

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@jessica_smetana Sports dudes don't want *any* part of weather nerd shade.

[Joey Headset @joeyheadset]

@3YearLetterman Parody? More like parody snutz.