.

Mutton dressed as mutton.

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@piersmorgan Goldilocks and the 3 bears- Breaking and Entering, burglary and trespassing.

Beauty and the Beast- Beastiality

The Boy Who Cried Wolf- Perverting the course of justice

Cinderella- Slavery

I could go on. I've never wanted to do these as a kid as a result of these fairy tales.

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You can always rely on England fans to leg it to Twitter when a commentary line like "Just looking for Wood" pops up.

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@The_Stone_Zone @angeljoy1966 @tonbridgeangels Aged like milk.

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@DorkingWDRS Jon Main.

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@eurofootcom "There's only 2 Michael Jacksons...2 Michael Jacksons..."

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@vittorioangelon Check out the City Hall Open Mic that Doug Stanhope did the other day...

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@AdamCrafton_ Can we appeal Lampard's 'goal' against Germany then?

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@FabrizioRomano Id also like to take this moment to let everyone know that I also retire from international duty from today.

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@MirrorCeleb When the chips are down.

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@tonbridgeangels That makes it all top 3 clubs losing today.

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@adamrowecomedy @joshuapsjones It would be fine if VAR was up to scratch and accurate ~100% of the time but it isn't. It's not ready for more big changes.

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@FreddyQuinne If you compare the league table from now after 20 games to last season's table after 20 games, the only negative statistic is that United have conceded 2 more goals. Wins, goals scored, goal difference, points - all better. Amorim needs his chance.

[. @joffe_22]

@marknelsoncomic

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@BBCMOTD I think judging by the price it's going to be the same price as a rainy day fund...

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@ammandev Sancho is on the same, Rashford was more, De Gea was on £100k more than that. I think it's fair in this market.

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@MidgeRekab @MichaelRosenYes It's just another buzzword.

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@utdjohnyy Rashford and Martial couldn't even track quickly enough for a celebration.

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@FreddyQuinne Dolphinal Phantasy.

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@brfootball There was 5 minutes more than there should have been though 🤣

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@teachergoals I think you break it into tea-cher by the way 😉

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@centredevils @FabrizioRomano