Sir John Bruton MBE

Liking any royalty, loving honours. Give us a peerage mister!! Parody - not actually John Bruton. D'uh!

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

Blast! It appears my butler has effected his escape in the middle of the night. Next to convince one of the proles to go get milk for my tea

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

@76Tuts I have unilaterally declared my front garden and turnip allotment as part of the commonwealth, and therefore eligible for honours!

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

@RiochtNaSaor Fantastic!!! Is there some book token or maybe a few scratch card prizes thrown in too?

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

I remember the attempted coup when I was Taoiseach... those 569 executions were sorely needed to put the St. John's Ambulance in their place

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

My 12th of July bonfire was composed of those accounting ledgers and cheque stubs mentioned in the Panama papers! Huzzah! #Glorious12thJuly

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

King Billy - symbol of tolerance, peace, democracy and inclusion! His statue must be re-erected in Dublin #12thJuly

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

All this claptrap about a "fair day's wage for a fair day's work"! I'll be the judge of what's fair. Now off to collect my sixteen pensions.

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

Not only should we rejoin the commonwealth, but we should also have Prince Harry's butler elected as Ceann Comhairle! #lovingroyalty

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

Huzzah, next week is the 12th of July! Roll on that festival of inclusion, benevolence, thoughtfulness and love of one's neighbour.

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

I find it disgraceful that Enda has given his advisor a 275k/year job. How are the rest of us expected to cope on a paltry 200k pension!!

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

@MissusVee next thing you'll be telling me I shouldn't drive in the cycle lane! Harummpf!!! Some people!!!

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

Right everyone... remember where we parked the car while we nip into Brown Thomas to get designer socks.

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

'Damn you', says I to Lord Ashcroft, 'if that Bob Geldof can get a CBE without having to undergo a haircut and a shave, then what about me?'

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

@Mappermick Damn the proles! That's why I campaigned for the reimposition of slavery on anyone without a knighthood.

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

I have not withdrawn my nomination (of myself) for Tory leader.

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

Having offered a sliced pan for everyone and tickets to Barnum's circus, I feel my attempt at the Euro hustings to be completed.

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

Poor Northern Ireland. Nobody likes the Euros anyway. Bloody foreigners the lot of them, trying to push people into a Union they don't want.

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

Enda gave me a call yesterday, hinting at some likely future ability to issue knighthoods and the like directly from the Fine Gael ard fheis

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

@chezmik in fairness, that money was just resting in that account. The children's pilgrimage to Lourdes was refunded after a couple of years

[Sir John Bruton MBE @john_bruton_mbe]

Hurrah for BREXIT, one can now repeal the Slavery Abolition Act of 1833 and force people to work in sports apparel warehouses for free!