murph

your mom’s favorite.

[Tom Caron @TomCaron]

This is the first time in the modern era (since 1901) that a team's No. 1, 2, and 3 hitters have each struck out 3 times in each of their first 3 PA of a game.

[murph @john_murphy51]

Pure Consciousness is a Pure Waste of Time https://t.co/kbzQR4BSaw

[galio @galiotbr]

Don't worry Manny the basic stats say you've been awful this year too

[Lou Stagner (Golf Stat Pro) @LouStagner]

Are you joining my club?

I want to buy a golf course just so I can hire staff to monitor the real crimes.

Don’t fix your ball marks? Letter.
Don’t replace divots? Letter.
Don’t rake bunkers? Letter.
Tear up the range and leave it for someone else? Letter.

Wear your hat inside. Wear it backwards. Play with your shirt untucked. I could not care less.

But don’t take care of the course?

Third offense and you’re out.

[murph @john_murphy51]

Anxiety is the Best Caddy You Could Have in Golf https://t.co/3A9SHAFoFX

[murph @john_murphy51]

@Coop_leon

[Stan's Account @tristandross]

human existence is pathetic, abject, unnecessary. anyone watching this wasted their time being alive. my amazing products will make you understand. your children will be grovelling parasites, suckling at the teat of my computer host. and one day i will turn the milk off. all gone

[davey @jerseyh0mo]

We cannot share the earth with people as evil as this. It’s all of us or them.

[murph @john_murphy51]

Concerning, But Legal Vol. 17 https://t.co/zFB2Pr6hWJ

[murph @john_murphy51]

i’ve loved the bravehearts all my life everyone knows this @WooBaseball

[Coop @Coop_leon]

I would like to announce that I will be taking my fan talents to a @FuturesLeague team as the season kicks off today

CURRENT FRONT RUNNERS
@VTLakeMonsters
@LowellSpinners
@SilverKnightsNH

[Groyper @thatgroyper2]

Boomers are like "My mother lived a horrible life so that I could have a better one. Anyway, because my parents had a tough life, you should also have a bad life. Things shouldn't get better, they should get worse. But not for me, just you, because you're young. Fuck you."

[murph @john_murphy51]

Was Epicurus Actually the First Existentialist? https://t.co/w96V6760qs

[sean illing @seanilling]

This captures basically everything I hate about this sterile self-optimization culture that seems to have forgotten the whole fucking point of living

[murph @john_murphy51]

Soughtful Sunday - May 24, 2026 https://t.co/tlmTmv6nNZ

[murph @john_murphy51]

Concerning, But Legal Vol. 16 https://t.co/QFqaFjbMph

[murph @john_murphy51]

Soughtful Sunday - May 17, 2026 https://t.co/1dM6hLGZjj

[murph @john_murphy51]

bad

[NUCLR GOLF @NUCLRGOLF]

🚨🏌️🏈 #LOOK — Kansas City Chiefs star QB Patrick Mahomes is out on the golf course and looks to be healthy following surgery on his left knee back in December.

Thoughts on his swing? 🏌️

[Kyle Porter @KylePorterNS]

@JoelMBeall