John scurti

although awkward and slow moving on land, john is quite graceful in water.

[John scurti @john_scurti]

Happy Saturday Night

[John scurti @john_scurti]

My wife Chris. Good stuff.

[John scurti @john_scurti]

Looks better on her my friend, but that’s what breasts will do.
Well,one of the things…

[Denis Leary @denisleary]

Dear @john_scurti - i guess the dress was a crutch for Keira when she wore it to the Oscars huh?

[John scurti @john_scurti]

I’ve been working as a nude model for a sculptor’s class but was let go.
Just not enough clay.

[John scurti @john_scurti]

No one told this rose it’s November

[John scurti @john_scurti]

Yeah baby!
Love ya Mikey but those award graphics look a little ‘ palmish’ to me.

[RetaliatorsMovie @RetaliatorsFilm]

Congrats to @MikeLombardi11 for winning BEST ACTOR at @OrlandoFilmFest!

[John scurti @john_scurti]

How do I know you spotted her?

[Hank Mardukas @johnnynoble23]

@john_scurti How do I claim my small glass?!

[John scurti @john_scurti]

Can you spot my wife in the grapevines?
Free glass of wine if you can.
( small glass)

[John scurti @john_scurti]

The first pumpkin arrives - Happy October people!

[John scurti @john_scurti]

My head

[John scurti @john_scurti]

My feet

[John scurti @john_scurti]

This was just my new telephone pole until I gave it some lovin’

[John scurti @john_scurti]

Pic of me from the 80’s sent by a friend. He was outside FAO Schwartz watching my jet fighter which was double parked.

[John scurti @john_scurti]

One night when my wife was away I had a couple of drinks and spent 10 minutes telling my cat on the floor by the bed how I loved her.
In the morning I saw it was a black tshirt.

[John scurti @john_scurti]

A Titan.
Gold bless your Ed, it was an honor to have met you.

[John scurti @john_scurti]

I like this one too but I’d substitute testicles for potatoes.

[John scurti @john_scurti]

It’s one of my favorite old jokes .
I hope you enjoy it
So Two cannibals are sitting by the fire eating a clown.
One turns to other and says , “ does this taste funny to you.”

[John scurti @john_scurti]

I’m only doing plant based comedy now.

[TV Tango @TVTango]

📺Today TV History: RESCUE ME Premiered 2004 FX w/ @DenisLeary @andrearoth888 #DanielSunjata @StevePasquale @calliopethorne @MikeLombardi11 @john_scurti #JamesMcCaffrey @BobbyBurke @ItsLennyClarke @ZegenMichael @thedeanwinters @thejackmcgee About https://t.co/kBnwsipQk9

[John scurti @john_scurti]

Ya know there’s nothing worse for our poor Ozone layer than burning jet fuel. So why are we applauding billionaire assholes who now fly into space for a 7 minute thrill ride?
We’ve been in space, landed on planets.
Fucking ridiculous.