John Emory Stewart

Advocate of Running the Football | Kellogg MBA | Bama Phi Delt ‘97 | I Really Do This Shit

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Hey Woodys ts better come with bottle service and hella bad bitches shakin ass or I’m not buying

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Bros THE “slut maker”

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Costco lady want dih, gave me 3 sample just cuz

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

If you drive the at or below the speed limit in the left lane on the highway I hate you with a genuine passion

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Just called my woman co-worker “retarded”. Boss thought it was funny #madeit

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Just rolled in to work at noon. Now I’m going to take a shit for the next 5 hrs #efficient

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Why is there no cold brew in Europe. I’m done with this cafe Americano bullshit

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Is it illegal for the JPMorgan chick to get some dick? Kamala did it and ran for fucking president #shrink

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Princess treatment. Take some notes guys

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Fuck SGA! My Indian friend out-hammers him every day of the gosh darn week

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

I love when foreign exchange students do 8 sets of chest press for 45 mins at the campus gym #gobacktochina

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Chick that fucked me over in high school just posted on instagram. Fat as fuck now. Kill yourself pussy #pig

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Nothing like shooting the shit with your boys and none of them have an ounce of melanin but you rip the “fun word” like you do

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

“I don’t love bag. I just love feeling fast.”#theTHINKER

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

I just wanna be rich and tell people money isn’t everything

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

I’d rather have my son rip sack only at parties rather than have him be a stoner who also vapes. Change my mind

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

“The skinny degen”

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Are people from the Middle East deadass just the sand people from Star Wars irl?

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

I love paying 51% for the bag because it makes me the majority shareholder

[John Emory Stewart @john_stewart53]

Finally got an internship. Bag on me boys