John Faso

Leading by example.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

@hopper thanks so much for moving my flight ahead two and a half hours and not telling me. So glad I went to the airport for nothing and had to book a flight for tomorrow instead.

[Chris Garcia @_chrisgarcia]

looking forward to Gal Gadot’s rendition of Fuck the Police

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Don’t you just want to say “what the fuck are you staring at?” to every senior citizen you meet but you don’t because you know that hearing a curse word would make their hearts explode?

[Robert Yasumura @teamyasumura]

I like that Dr. Phil is already a shitty psychologist, but now he wants to be a shitty public health expert.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Good thing pinball machines cost more than $1,200 is all I’m saying.

[Alec Sulkin @thesulk]

At least Nero could play the fiddle.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Some heroes don’t wear capes. His name is Mr. Incredible and he’s super strong so fuck you.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Let’s not pretend Joe Exotic didn’t steal a Ron White joke.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

I can’t be the only one with a Zoom hangover today.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Can’t believe I’m saying this, but my liver can’t take much more of this quarantine bullshit.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

No bullshit. Today, I had two Black Flag singers ask me for a cup of black coffee.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Currently on the market for a girl with a raspy voice and who you would say has “seen some shit”. HMU

[John Faso @johnfaso]

So glad they made the new, unnecessary Lion King. It took me all these years to figure out Mufasa was a bitch and fuck you anyway.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

I just married two people and then got a 7-11 chili dog in the same night. Beat that you fuckin hacks.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Gonna get some cargo shorts and a cell phone clip so I can make this dad bod of mine a whole kit.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Let’s talk about farts BAY-BE. Let’s talk about POOP and PEE. Let’s talk about all the good thing and the bad things that come OUT of ME.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Currently blasting Keep Their Heads Ringin’ while waiting to puck up my nephew from kindergarten.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

@dodgingcars @BurgerKing

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Just a quick reminder that Whoppers are absolute trash. We should celebrate the day @BurgerKing goes out of business like we did for World War Two.

[John Faso @johnfaso]

Everybody make sure to post pictures about how great and perfect your families are today!