John K. Born

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

If anyone was wondering, The Tilled Kilt has horrible chicken fingers, but more importantly, also has shockingly delicious burgers. They need to promote this more to differentiate themselves from wing/finger places. The outfits aren’t bad either. @TiltedKilt #TiltedKilt

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

I mean this in a larger sense of where my life is at the moment, including tonight. #GifYourNight

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

Shake and Achy Bakey Heart #ShakeUpASong

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

My long-term financial scheme of growing and harvesting pumpkins will finally make me millions!

Pardon?

You say all the pumpkin spice items are artificially flavored?

I’m ruined.

#ExcitedForFallBecause @HashtagRoundup @HashNight

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

I can begin scouting cheap retail rental properties that will be guaranteed available around November 2nd after the Halloween stores close.
#ExcitedForFallBecause
@HashtagRoundup
@HashNight

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

You can watch horror movies every night until November 1st without being considered a psychopath.
@HashNight @HashtagRoundup #ExcitedForFallBecause

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

I can obnoxiously correct people regarding their incorrect pronunciation of foliage (Thanks to Marge Simpson for inspiring me!)
#ExcitedForFallBecause

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

My usual dark wardrobe choices will be in fashion for a few months #ExcitedForFallBecause

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

I can be pretentious and refer to the season as “Autumn!” #ExcitedForFallBecause

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

#WeirdThingsIveGoogled

Who played the freakish inbred-slasher-looking guy in an orange jumpsuit in the early-2000’s Garth Brooks Dr Pepper ad? Never found the answer. See here

Garth Brooks Dr. Pepper 2000s Commercial (2002) https://t.co/1IvJ1S0o3E via @YouTube

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

@SinCityChiGirl This is what it would be like if after years of enjoying the dry, erudite wit of Dorothy Parker, she suddenly decided to start showing off her perfect breasts.

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

This is what it would be like if after years of enjoying the dry, erudite wit of Dorothy Parker, she suddenly decided to start showing off her perfect breasts. https://t.co/6hD1zXMihS

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

#ThatIsAsUsefulAs
the dictionary you always keep on hand in the event of a word being used that you’ve never heard before during an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

Happy New Years to all. I resolve to get back on the Twitter bicycle in 2018! #NewYearsEve2018

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

Alien Pez dispenser. Awesome.

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

@Todd_Spence Tucker & Dale Vs Evil. A group of teens mistake a gentle duo of backwoods pals for murderous, hillbilly maniacs; mayhem ensues. On Netflix!

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

#RejectedCookbookTitles
Mastering the Art of French Stewart Cooking!

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

Enjoyed The Babysitter (2017) on @Netflix so much more than I suspected I would. Kudos McG!

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

The Babysitter (2017) on @netflix is pure unadulterated enjoyment for any true horror buff. Perfect mix of camp and genuine horror!

[John K. Born @johnkborn]

#ItsSexierIfYouAdd more clothes to slowly remove. This is why men find Inuits dressed extremely snugly so hot.