John Keher

Isn't finding fate so funny?

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

Hi, I'm Jacky Knoxass, welcome to Johnville

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

"The garage is always open, the coffee is on the pot, the beer is full of fridge." - Drunk Mike @POTUS

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

You know how, in chess, sometimes it's generally accepted that if you're in a losing position it's the right thing to do to just knock the king over? Why can't that be morally acceptable in life?

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

@leahetc_ hi! is your bio a reference to @THEBETHS ?

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

Really going into 2025 just ready for 2025 to end. Fuck

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

You can catch a hundred flies, ya frog/ hop another lily pad to stop the feeling/ you can ribbit that it's how you are/ Catch another fly, another tasty insect/ Well good fly, babe (well, good fly)

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

Do we intrinsically know to panic when we're going to suddenly die?

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

Hamburg pickle on top! Makes your <3 go flippity flop!

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

Hit it like rom-pom-pom-pom/ Get it hot like Papa John

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

"I don't *love* defecating on myself, but I really like Siege..." - @JaySunGee, on difficult decisions

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

If the Timberwolves keep winning my sportsbook app account is going to surpass my 401k soon

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

It is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I am happy to report that I'm keenly aware of how poor my mental health is

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

"He would make my vagina spicy." - Gabby, on Chester Cheetah

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

@ShadohStreams I'd better get to know 'er before I Whopper

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

Happy Whopper Wednesday to those who celebrate

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

@talkalot_360 @flat_snake I have finally found my people

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

Please - My father's name is Mr. Pibb. You can call me Pibb Xtra.

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

@ShadohStreams @theholdsteady Shove a spoon up my ass

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

Tonight's self-imposed tragedy brought to you by @theholdsteady

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

@ShadohStreams @theholdsteady You should know my dude's off the grass

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

"We love broken, beautiful people." - Taylor Jenkins Reid

[John Keher @JohnKeher]

"I try to stay just ahead of my depression." - Bill Burr