John F Kensil

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

one time My dad caught me vaping behind the garage and made me vape a whole vape of vapes and I became the coolest kid in Vapetown

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

@mikerainey82 Mike, I saw her live
Very funny
Sarah squirm
Sarah Sherman

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

@ATRightMovies This scene from saving Private Ryan

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

What kind of modeling clay does a dog use?
Fi-Do!

but the sad part is in ceramics class. All dogs make is other dogs asses

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

one time My dad caught me vaping behind the garage and made me vape a whole vape of vapes and I became the coolest kid in Vapetown

[Michael Rainey @mikerainey82]

My new book, Wigger Bible, is up for pre-sale now. It is a comprehensive guide to the wonderful world of wigs. Pre-sales are a big deal with book sales, so I’m calling upon all my wigger brethren to help me reach my pre-sale goal.

I’d love to eventually get my books published and documented pre-sales help that. You can order at https://t.co/rd34noHZII. Thank you guys.

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

How did Helen Keller deform her ear?
She answered the Fleshlight.

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

How embarrassing! A friend (Dave Teruso) posted a photo of his car he just wrecked, I tried to make a funny comment just as my iPhone updated my FB account so instead my comment went to a woman praising her neighbor for their wonderful banana bread

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

My dad lost $48,000 on this fight, ( He said the fix was in)

and on the undercard Joe Frazier fought Mr Myxlplyx)

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

Helped neighbor lady,
she came down in a nighty & said-
“Do you see anything you like?”

I said-“I saw a DVD of Dunston Checks In on your TV”

Then Man
We just fell about the place

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

See this Limo?
It’s Clown Prom Season

“Smell my Corsage”
“SQUIRT!”
“Oh Droopy Drawers! You got me again!”

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

Madame Tussaud’s said this was the easiest wax figure to make because it only used 6 boxes of birthday candles

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

After my car accident ,
the first thing my dad said was “Did you wipe off all the clown makeup on the hood?” #FathersDay

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

Center City Philly-
1- I saw someone WITHOUT a tattoo ( must be a stupid tourist)

2- it looks like William Penn is exposing himself

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

know the best part of taking care of my 80 ye old parents? dad calls Bill Clinton President Draft Dodger & mom washes car with SOS pad

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

Every time I fall through Kohl's ladies room ceiling My degree from Temple in Radio TV & Film fades away like Marty McFly's family photo

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

Helped neighbor lady,
she came down in a nighty & said-Do you see anything you like?

I said-I saw a DVD of Dunston Checks In on your TV"

[John F Kensil @johnkensil]

I can't believe Bruce Willis's Hudson Hawk is trending
Worst line ever in a movie-
Bruce Willis fights with a villain who has swords on his arms.
Bruce has him cut his own head off.
Bruce replies " It looks like you won't be going to the HAT convention!"