John

Lockkeeper at Bingley Five Rise, in my tenth year as such. Views are my own.

[John @johnlockkeeper]

Germany is out??!!! What!! I didn't even know that they'd had a referendum!

[John @johnlockkeeper]

....to genetically modify foetuses...does nobody care about the split infinitive any more?

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@richardosman The owner is called Daniel Steak....it's his joint?

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@Colston_Hall @TeamXander1 @XanderArmstrong Do Kiss covers and call the album A Year Of Snogs! (That's yours now, you can have that.)

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@courtneymelba loving these photos of you rocking out!

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@richardosman I know loads like that, Richard. It's often the case. He a mastiff/staffie?

[John @johnlockkeeper]

First priority for tv journos should be, 'Learn how to pronounce wherever it is you're reporting from.' Hashtag just ask a local!

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@courtneymelba @SatPaper I can't think about floorboards anymore...

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@stephenfry What did it come back with?

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@Yorkshire_Life Only if it's Orange Blossom...

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@JohnsonThompson 'the' police hahahahahaha

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@elizabethalker ....thanks for that, I never even realised I was quite good at it?

[John @johnlockkeeper]

Did Helen Sharman urinate on a tyre?

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@richardosman Is there any spot-betting to be had? Mason Noise to invade the stage, perhaps? Louis Walsh to run on and moon?

[John @johnlockkeeper]

I would actually go into a pop-up Christmas shop if it were called Yule Solutions......

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@richardosman Why don't you and Xander enter an otherwise normal episode of Pointless? It could be hosted by David Mitchell & Stephen Fry.

[Michelle Choudhry @MichelleChoud]

Come on lady!!! You can do it!!! @courtneymelba https://t.co/O7Pk6x6uwE

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@courtneymelba lol....I knew before you did!? So happy for you!

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@richardosman Do you need that toilet plinth cos you're so tall?

[John @johnlockkeeper]

@fatbellybella Betcha didn't expect all these questions did you, Erykah?!