John Katz

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[Taylor Swift @taylorswift13]

Time Magazine: We’d like to name you Person of the Yea-

Me: Can I bring my cat.

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

Someone is listening to Stephanie J Block justify the beans on this plane and I want to be their friend 👀

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

Is it really necessary to carry a gun? Sir, this is Great Clips.

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

@jefawada A message for you

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

I aspire to be like this dad wrangling his three sons* at the airport.

*all the sons are wearing crocs with jibbitz

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

The security lady next to the drug sniffing dog said the dog is the reason you can keep your shoes on while going through security now. Who knew 🤷🏻‍♂️

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

Why is LaGuardia Airport the busiest I have ever seen it at 4:30 in the morning???

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

Just drove a car for the first time in 6 months

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

I’m genuinely loving How I Met Your Father.

Hilary Duff AND Josh Peck??

7-year-old John is living his best life

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

@MaisonKelly I knew there was SOMETHING I liked about Maya

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

The fact that I couldn’t find candy conversation hearts at TWO (2) DIFFERENT STORES on Valentine’s Day is a true travesty.

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle gluten?

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

JetBlue calling its in flight WiFi ‘Fly-Fi’ was so cute it almost made me forget they canceled my flight because they couldn’t find people to shovel the snow in front of my airplane’s hanger to get it to the gate 🥰

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

The CDC just announced that it’s a no bones day

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

The CDC just announced that you don’t have to go to the gym until next year.

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

I could never sneak up on someone because EVERY SINGLE PAIR of my shoes squeak

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

I realize that my job is getting up on stage and being vulnerable, but nothing makes me feel more vulnerable than the moment when it’s my turn to bowl 🎳 😳

[BroadwayWorld @BroadwayWorld]

Branson Bice and Camila Rodrigues will star in the 2022 national tour of @AmericanInParis! https://t.co/qGQIIcMvFH

[John Katz @johnloveskatz]

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: im probably dehydrated