Matthew Johnson

[Mike Stanley @mikestan87]

The burglar at 3am coming in the patio door to see you sat in your underpants watching South Korea v The Czech Republic:

[Matthew Johnson @johnno1983]

@tinyrebelbrewco 🫴🏼

[IM🇵🇹 @Iconic_Mourinho]

If José Mourinho met his former players.

The ending, this is brilliant😂
https://t.co/sAiOxCTqpP

[Sporting Life Racing @SportingLife]

📚 Fancy WINNING a copy of One Jump Ahead?

🏇 Ahead of the new national hunt season, and we have 20 copies of Mark Howard's jumpers to follow 2022/23 to give away!

To enter:
👍 Like this post
🔁 Share the post
🤝 Follow @Sportinglife

Competition closes 17:00 on 30/09/22

[BrewDog @BrewDog]

This tweet does 2 things:

1. Reminds you there's ONLY 100 days till Christmas.
2. Gives you the chance to WIN 1 of 5 BrewDog Advent Calendars.

That's right. 5 calendars. 5 winners. Simple.

Like and retweet for a chance to win, and make sure you're following us.

[Matthew @matthewd67]

ten german donners

[John Gallagher @earlymodernjohn]

OK, I'm hiding in my pantry. What next?

[Racing Post @RacingPost]

🤩 WIN CHELTENHAM FESTIVAL TICKETS 🤩

We've got a pair of tickets in the Club Enclosure for day three at the Cheltenham Festival!

📆 Thursday 17th March

To enter:
✅ Follow @RacingPost
🔁 Retweet this post

Winners announced at 5pm tomorrow. Good luck! 🤞

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

This app is free.

[Hemant @hemantbuch]

You think you’ve seen it all, then this comes around..just unbelievable! #BPL2022 #Russellrunout

[Matt Cartoons @MattCartoonist]

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's @Telegraph⁠
⁠
Click on the link in bio to subscribe to my weekly newsletter 📬⁠
⁠
#lol #cartoons #cartoonist #sketch #drawingoftheday #comics

[GOV.UK @GOVUK]

@Mick_Bailey Hi Mick, although there are exemptions for work purposes, you must not have a work Christmas lunch or party, where that is a primarily social activity and is not otherwise permitted by the rules in your tier. You can find more information here: https://t.co/OffEeTzYh3 Thanks

[Matthew Johnson @johnno1983]

@chrisdshields

[Hamill @CPHamill]

Settled like men 🤝 https://t.co/wteZoKkA1K

[Matthew Johnson @johnno1983]

@JonnyFX1 😂 what a fucking cunt you are. There’s no way you’re a united fan

[Matthew Johnson @johnno1983]

@sebbach101 @daninthelakes @LabourList @KimJohnsonMP @UKLabour Not so a bright at all, almost like tweeting over 3000 times to no followers

[Matthew Johnson @johnno1983]

@oddschecker @corporatebish

[Benjamin Mendy @benmendy23]

No one is safe 👀💦 #chiefdoc #maxsala 💙 🦈