costco

check my Pinterest

[costco @johnnykosko]

If Addison Rae can unfollow her dad for cheating I’m unfriending my mom on FB for asking me to do the dishes

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dih bih gah

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Eating salad with my boys call it bro-main

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Kylie couldn't give Timmy a little allowance to sit court side?

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Imagine working a 9 to 5 and still having to hunt and gather

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I'm way smarter than Google Maps, I just need to know what direction to go in

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Doing a bullpen walkout jog out of my room before Friday night beers

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Saying "this one is gonna be a home run" after every pitch

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Jesus: you know, I'd label today as a Good Friday

Judas:

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My mind is a fortress that only dominos can break through

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Domino's pizza is always teaching me the sin of gluttony

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COME ON BLUE THATS DOWN THE MIDDLE

*taps top of head for ABS challenge*

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Domino's pizza is always teaching me the sin of gluttony

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When a Kanye album aligns with his yearly factory reset to the old Kanye

[Debating Hip-Hop @DebatingHipHop_]

are you guys hearing this?

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Word Tony Soprano

[Delta9250 @deltaIV9250]

project Hail Mary has me trying to befriend a goose that lives in my backyard

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Eye doctor dilating my eyes and telling my coworkers I'm Lisan al-Gaib

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Manager sent me this tweet and ordered us all standing desks

[lifemaxxers @lifemaxxjourney]

A very wise man once told me:

“Do whatever you want with you life but whatever you do, don’t sit on your arse”

[costco @johnnykosko]

my joke bombed in the groupchat

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Was chewing my burger and bit my cheek

[Kevin → Plant Daddy @KevinEspiritu]

Rye Chip: The wagyu of the bag. Dense, salty, crunchy, and most importantly somewhat rare in a classic bag of Gardetto's, leading to a scarcity flavor boosting psychological effect. Discerning consumers pair a classic bag with a "Special Request" bag of rye chips to balance the ratio.

Wheat Chex: Smaller and more dense grid, slightly crunchier than Corn Chex and more flavorful overall. A reliable second to rye chips.

Corn Chex: A weaker and less flavorful base grain, but still passable as a random pull from the bag.

Mini Breadstick: We've entered "filler" territory now. Decent surface area, holds a solid amount of salt. But more of a palate cleanser in between rounds of the top three.

Circle Pretzel: No one comes to Gardetto's for a pretzel, let's be real. Circle is only second worst because it's objectively less pretzel by mass than...

Square Pretzel: Absolute F-Tier trash. Pure filler, too smooth and barely even holds salt. Often never leaves the bag amongst sophisticated Gardetto consumers.

[costco @johnnykosko]

Euro stepping into the work bathroom. I can't be guarded

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Lady Gaga at this years Super Bowl: yo soy Señora Jaja