...

[... @johnnyweir]

@NewsHour wow

[... @johnnyweir]

@MaintenancePod oh hell yeah

[... @johnnyweir]

the office is so quiet and my digestive system is so loud

[... @johnnyweir]

i’m an adult now because i have now tasted beers that taste like fucking shit

[... @johnnyweir]

when people posts pictures of their children in the tub first i’m like ok maybe don’t do that and then i inspect their grout i hate grout

[... @johnnyweir]

who is your friend that follows 3000 instagram accounts

[... @johnnyweir]

rite aid is like so west coast

[... @johnnyweir]

just as expected, the silverfish i vacuumed up a week ago is no longer in the vacuum

[... @johnnyweir]

*me anytime i order clothes in a size large*
“i’m glad i got the large”

[... @johnnyweir]

@cliff_hogg 👏👏👏👏

[... @johnnyweir]

really crazy that we all have one life to live and people choose to use that time to ruin other people’s lives

[... @johnnyweir]

big brother has got me fucked up thinking i can watch a two hour episode that starts at 9pm cmon julie chen moonves

[... @johnnyweir]

i’ve lived in the same place for two years and i just realized i still haven’t hung anything on my bedroom walls

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

My mother, Ann Dunham, was the biggest influence on my life, and helped shape me into the person I am today.

I’m proud to share that the Water Garden at the Obama Presidential Center will be named in her honor.

[... @johnnyweir]

@RepJohnYarmuth hope you have a quick and easy recovery!

[... @johnnyweir]

asshole. they fought for our country. what the fuck do you do rand paul? you also can’t pick and choose what you want to believe from the cdc asshole

[Kentucky Democrats @KyDems]

If you watch one thing tonight, watch this:

Rand Paul literally just said he's voting against health care for veterans because they can't "prove" their health conditions resulted from their military service.

Beyond disgraceful.

[Shannon Watts @shannonrwatts]

MORE AMERICAN FREEDOM: The long-running Music Midtown festival at Piedmont Park in Atlanta in September has been called off because recent changes to Georgia gun laws prevent the festival from banning guns on the publicly owned festival grounds. #gapol https://t.co/0eP9IwoUW7

[... @johnnyweir]

3,000 streaming services and Spice World is not on any of them. I've been trying to watch this movie for years now

[... @johnnyweir]

@rachsyme ok jealous

[... @johnnyweir]

wtf i thought his bday was next month

[Brendan Kergin @BKergin]

I don't mean to alarm anyone, but someone is about to give birth to George Jetson.