john paliferro

comedian, animator, Selleck enthusiast

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@tacobell 🫴

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@RealSkipBayless Love that you’re a senior citizen with a framed anchorman poster in his house 🙄

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

Are the @BlueJays the chunkiest team in all of baseball? #bluejays #MLB #MLBPostseason

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

Let’s just call it like it is. Axe throwing bars are just @DaveandBusters for lumberjacks. #beards&beer

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

The QB for the Vikings looks like a dad on a Fox sitcom

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

For this holiday season, instead of spending with family and loved ones I did something far more important. I live reported all of Kevin McCallister’s crimes from @HA2_LostInNY on the @CitizenAppNYC #stopchildcrime

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

The premise of the movie #Speed with @keanureeves is completely nonsense if made today...no vehicle is going above 50 mph in LA. #TrafficAlert

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@KingJames is an anti-vaxxer? Who knew?

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@BurgerKing A pound of pancreatic cancer from eating Burger King @CDCgov #cancer #covid #burgerking #fastfood

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

I’m gonna tell my grandkids I got the vaccine when that shit was like trying to get into a night club not this ratchet discount buy one get a free baseball game. #COVIDSecondWave

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@FinalFour Hannah Montana looks like a biker mom in her 50s who just opened a turquoise necklace shop in New Mexico. @newmexico come visit!

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

Love @CNN had #chriscuomo block me over his brother when he rails against the British royal family playing denial games to Megan Markle’s allegations against them #cnn

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

⁦@CuomoPrimeTime⁩ but not his brother right? ⁦@NYGovCuomo⁩ ⁦@CNN⁩

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@CuomoPrimeTime you know what’s also great? This time last year your brother sexually harassed another woman. #MeToo #believeallwomen

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@KingJames Love when people think out in loads

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@nickgligor @AEW Probs 2034 when it’s safe

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@KingJames Wait who are you ?

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

My fav thing about the @ChickfilA ads is seeing the soul crushing darkness in the employee’s eyes because #chickfila only values them enough to pay them minimum wage.

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

@CNN why is @wolfblitzer still on the air? Can’t we get anyone other than an old, bumbling man to read numbers off the screen that we can already see? #CNN

[john paliferro @johnpaliferro]

Today proves that movies like @olympushasfallen are now completely plausible!