John Pemble

elsewhere

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

It’s 2026

And X is still a platform of shit

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

Woke up from a dream.

But it wasn’t a dream.

It was a message from Jesus. The Lord. Saying people who use X are responsible for every instance of acid reflux.

So many people suffering from heartburn because people use X.

Hey, this is from Jesus. I’m just the messenger.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

-gross-

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

Jesus would never post on X.

Jesus is clearly a BS user.

For real, they do.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

This platform

Look, I’ve made it clear

For months

Your account here should only be used to declare X as a shit portal to shit.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

I’m on B - S

And X can eat my ass.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

Fuck this platform.

Leave it.

But keep your account to maintain your identify / handle and to occasionally post about X being a platform for fucking dipshits.

It’s terrible.

And it’s owned by a fuckhead.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

My late night rant: this platform sucks.

Until the dipshits that run this remove me, I’m doing only doing shit talk posts about this platform being a shithole here.

You should do the same.

It’s what George Washington would do.

I time traveled. GW said EL is a dipshit.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

The only reason you should post on this platform is to call out this platform being for being a shit zone

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

Jesus Christ, Bluesky is such a better space with even a few dozen followers. Threads is working well too.

Why the fuck are you on this platform? It’s fucking so over here.

So. Over.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

Still posting here without mentioning what a pile shit this platform is?

I judge.

The smell of fecal matter is all over your fingers. Who likes that? Nobody.

Well, hang on. Clearly some do.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

Your next post here should be a scathing assessment of ol Twitter.

And example, this is a fucking fuck nothing piece of fuck platform.

See.

Real simple.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

Lots of discussion as to whether Threads or Bluesky is a good fit. Hey, anything other than this shithole is a good fit.

But seriously, is it shithole or shit hole?

I mean it’s a hole of shit either way but dammit I need help when talking shit about this platform.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

For months I’m advocating use of this platform to only be a promotion of something like Threads and of course to reinforce this platform has sucked for a long time. Please, pursue social media whatever anywhere but here.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

Every time you post here not to bash X / Twitter, God kills 1 kitten, 5 golden retrievers, 30,000 goldfish, and gives cancer to 3 of nicest people you know.

I mean if that doesn’t convince you to go to talk shit about Twitter and move to Threads - JFC. You are cold.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

Oh hi.

You are reading this because you are on “Twitter”

Leave this shit hole.

Go to Threads.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

@lastcalllesko @AP Oh wow. That’s right: they can’t.

Gonna track all those kids down who said that and demand the candy back.

Thanks for clearing this up.

Hey, my car is broke. Can you drive me around to these kids’ homes so we can get the candy back?

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

https://t.co/JoTmCgDngN

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

When you post here on X and call it Twitter you are in denial.

[John Pemble @johnpemble]

@disc_connected The product coming is still a good set. Sure I’d like to see whatever longer version there is, but it’s not worth canceling.