John Rezas

Storyteller • Magus • Nerd • Freakazoid! • SubGenius • № 23 • Artist • Superhero • Zombie Fighter

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

When asked about the #marijuana laws and he said "I am #Groot," I totally agreed with him...

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

I’m trying to choose the name for my next #rap #album, but I can’t decide between Mass Formation Pyschosis and Derangement Syndrome. #politics

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

A group of soldiers stood in formation, the Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out." As the soldiers wandered away, one soldier remained. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

Never judge a #book by its #movie.

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

I've been waiting by the turnstile for a long time. I'm starting to think that the girl with kaleidoscope eyes will never show up. That's the story of my life. I should have went with Lucy, at least she lived in the sky with diamonds. #Beatles #TheBeatles

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

#ScoobyDoo is basically a show about a bunch of kids that live in a van down by the river. #ChrisFarley #SNL

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

#madmax #madmaxfuryroad #furyroad #theroadwarrior #madmaxtheroadwarrior #movies

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

Wish You Were Here... You're My Only Hope. #PinkFloyd #StarWars #music #movies #r2d2 #princessleia

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

#DUNE #FrankHerbert #politics #government #BeneGesserit

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

#Ultraman's ultra-sexy girlfriend.

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

Meanwhile, back at the Bat-cave, #Batman and Robin are perplexed by the #Joker's plan to force the Batman into a boner. #comicbooks #dccomics

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

#AmazonPrimeDay

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

So, I used to work in a factory making plastic #Dracula statues. There were only two of us on the production line. I had to make every second count.

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Lil ole lady...
Lil ole lady who?
I didn't know you could Yodel.

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

Morpheus: "You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." Me: "What was the middle one again?" Morpheus: "Shut up, stupid ass."

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

#ChuckNorris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

I need to get out of #TheMatrix. Can somebody set me up with a disconnect call at the corner of Wabash and Lake? #movies

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

Worth doing…
#xmen #superheroes #comicbooks #marvel ⁦@Marvel⁩ https://t.co/N4m4xBGkAq

[John Rezas @johnrezas]

#Story idea: Vampiric antidisestablishmentarian Ninjas explore the mysteries of transcendental spiritual enlightenment in small-town Saskatchewan.