jack

An account so I can finally like funny things

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn’t hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we’re told to fight about:

Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.

That’s the joke.

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@PopesFFH Have to pick 2: Wilson, Olave, JJefferson!

[Philadelphia Eagles @Eagles]

Go Birds Go

@BetMGM | #FlyEaglesFly

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@Jolly_Olive 🔔 🔔 🔔 #Ringthebell

[City of Reading, PA @cityreadingpa]

Local woman and her new fiancée stun in engagement pics.

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

Schwarber MVP?!

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@AndersenPickard @VPasquantino This article says that it’s precise to 3mm using 3D point clouds generated of the stadium

https://t.co/VeP7nCkYYn

[Morgan J. Freeman @mjfree]

I’m gonna post this every day so nobody forgets exactly who Donald Trump is and why the Epstein files have suddenly disappeared.

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@Furnacepicks @ParlayPutter $jkershn

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@lucky_louie23 @Cubs Zach Wheeler pitched a 1Hitter

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@UKPhillies @IronPigs Must go to Bonn on the south side of Bethlehem. Best vibe of any brewery in town.

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@PrizePicks Less

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@Furnacepicks LFG!

[Trumpton @Trump_ton]

Yesterday I bought a cup of coffee for $3

I now have a $3 trade deficit with the coffee shop so I am imposing a 50% trade tariff on them.

Today my coffee cost me $4.50

#winning

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@cornchipsss You should buy some and do a review on Corin’s World

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

this is an absolutely shocking statement from POTUS. Four US troops died in Lithuania, news of it was reported hours ago, and Trump is completely clueless

[jack @johnsfunnyacct]

@atrupar He’s always been your dealer, you just didn’t know it! 😉