Mychajlo Johnson

this account is a study in dadaism (moved to: @mylomylomylo.bsky.social)

[JAXIE @jaxajueny]

Happy birthday gay people

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

if time = money
and we exchange money for food
does food = time ?

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

using a gen1 ipod shuffle like a fun dip stick

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

happy ten year anniversary to 2012!!! the world should’ve ended then.

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

elon owns twitter now! you know what that means! in honor of free speech i will be committing cyberterrorism 🥰

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

*medical professional diagnosing you with severe anxiety* you’re thoughtful

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

you’re laughing.

your girlfriend is a worm and you’re laughing.

[Rachael Staley @RachaelStaley]

life is soup i am fork

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

flutes sound way too pretty for how ugly u look when u play them

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

childish gambino sounds like one of those xbox default usernames

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

oh excuuuuse me?

do you even know who i am??? do you know who you’re talking to???

i was a pleasure to have in class, thank you very much.

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

wait a second… girls have TITIES? HONKERS? BOO-BAHS ???

why am i just finding out about this now ???

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

if edit tweet was real and u liked this post then i’d edit this post to say something like “shit fart” and u’d still have it liked and everyone would see u liked a tweet that said “shit fart” and they’d be like ‘okay???’ and that would be really embarrassing for u for real

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

oh you shake your chipotle order before you eat it? really like homogenized mush, huh? just no texture at all? does the uniformity really satisfy your baby-food-palette?

maybe we should just start blending your dinners into paste. enjoy your steak and potatoes milkshake, freak.

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

the queen just died for attention she’ll be back as a robot in a week

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

what the fuck is spearmint

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

this year - for my savior complex - im going to an underdeveloped country (england) to help cure sick kids (being british)

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

@mrg2883 it’s off center

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

my pizza is off center ?

[Mychajlo Johnson @johnson_mylo23]

@mrg2883 no it’s off center look