Cory Johnson

Father, Latter-day Saint, fly fisherman, Senior Software Engineer

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@oelma__ Talon

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@xoaanya No resets

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@yagirlsarina24 The trick is getting to that number without increasing your standard of living. Most people will always feel poor because they keep upping the standard of living with every promotion.

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

Real talk. My Tesla finally updated to 14.3.7 last night and it happens to also be when I’m at exactly 1,437 miles. Coincidence?

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@MissJilianne Someone’s got a lead foot

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@Won_4r Diet Coke

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@JBTHEPLUG1 The smell...neighbor smoking a joint and I gotta close all my windows and have the kids come in

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@softboywin I'd rather be anywhere than at a wedding...the food is the ONLY reason I'd go...

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@mkobach I think the idea is that people who try to bring on more carry-ons than they should, want to get on first so they can take up all the overhead bin space. I never bring more than a backpack, and I try to board as close to the end as possible.

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@one_miloo But can it drive itself?

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@ClownWorld Those cheeks aren’t gonna protect themselves…

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@sflorimm Well, if you made it to Series E before selling, you’re probably buying a coffee on the way to your next job…

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@danyay I think we had this exact one 🧐

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@Jaberuski I HAVE to know how he got IN the theater to begin with…

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@ERdownandout @ojessie__ This has to be AI generated right?! People aren’t this bad at math in real life. Right?

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@tony_bagz Time for banana bread

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@matt_gray_ In fact, it might just be the inverse

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@SnazzyLabs But FSD just works….and that’s Apple’s tagline, so…

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@GrulkeLamonte And then just walk out, download the Tesla app and order yourself the best dang car on the market with ZERO haggling.

[Cory Johnson @johnsoncory_]

@typecraft_dev The tree in my front yard doesn’t provide enough shade…