chr!s

(pfp + header art by @andie_t)

why don't you eat some olives and calm down

[chr!s @johnstuwurt]

you'd think at Hour 50 of labor they'd get the point that i don't wanna be here. but i'm not a doctor what do i know

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

Immediately upon exiting my mother’s womb they obliterated my nervous system

[nat @swantail]

Men will believe a woman is genuinely stupid before they’d consider the possibility that she’s joking

[dylan🧜‍♂️ @tweetsbydylan]

the state of california will issue a drivers license to ANYBODY

[paige @BonerWizard]

Happy birthday @cher

[Variety @Variety]

Vin Diesel rocks a diamond-encrusted “Fast Forever” jacket at the #Cannes screening of “The Fast and the Furious”

[chr!s @johnstuwurt]

@bibhu55 @animepfponmain @rachellacroixs ragebait: 1/10, definitely room to improve. a single point for bringing up the book in the first place but then pretending you don't know which book while you call a woman "honey"

[Bobben Katzen @BobbensArtDen]

surprised no one has attempted "Oliver Queen is clean shaved, Green Arrow has a fake beard" as a secret identity gimmick

[chr!s @johnstuwurt]

@bibhu55 @animepfponmain @rachellacroixs the BOOK it's based on, you dumbfuck

[blazer @notauntblazer]

one thing about michael jackson supporters is they will stop responding to you the second you ask if they'd let their preteen sleep in bed with michael

[abi @daughterrot]

girl fuck a pap smear and fuck yall too

[dyke with a blog @bbyriddim]

“i understand pap smears are an important part of preventative care i just wish medicine could’ve figured out a less traumatizing and invasive experience by now”
SOME millennial women for some reason:

[alien @alienincrisis]

abducting couples is funny they always blame each other

[Bec Shaw @Brocklesnitch]

My entire knowledge of Connecticut and anyone from there is literally only my childhood friends Kristy, Dawn, Mary Anne, Claudia and Stacey

[chr!s @johnstuwurt]

@gwenstacying me botting john stewart to the top of every dc poll

[jd scott uchiha, the third property brother @blossomings]

the first two you just had to be there form

[chr!s @johnstuwurt]

@lesbianspeedy they took us out for the crime of being Too Right about our favs

[➶ Matt 🇻🇪🇨🇦 TEAM TRAGEDY @werewolpertingr]

John Stewart ftm confirmed

[A$AP RockLee @DineroMcLovin]

Montos