John T. Wall

The T stands for Thomas.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

People say "I work 40 hours a week and I'm miserable." Well for the past 8 weeks, I worked 11 hours a day for 6 days a week. Life requires toil, hardship, and sacrifice. But now I'm back to 9 to 5 so it was worth it. Shut up and fight your own battles.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

Thanksgiving 2003 was when I got my GameCube. I was only 5. Two decades later, I still play it. Along with an abundance of other things, I'm very thankful to Nintendo for it.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

I would change the location. NIU is a great school but DeKalb, IL is a terrible place to attend college.

[Barstool NIU @niu_barstool]

if you could change one thing about NIU, what would it be🤔

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

I basically ate the same amount when I was in college. The only difference was I was stress-eating.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

The 3 DON'Ts of life:
1.) Don't start a question with "can I ask a question?"
2.) Don't say the word "guestimate"
3.) Don't mistake honesty for cruelty just because you think everyone is a liar

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

@SoundCloud just copyright striked me for a mixtape I uploaded 9 years ago. Watch out, fellow rappers. They're coming for you next!

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

This Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg cage fight has the potential to become a really dope animated mini-series, with a training arc included. Depending on how it plays out, I could animate it myself in MS Paint because I learned how in the 6th grade.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

Streaming services: "Erhm, we want your money because watching stuff for free is illegal 🤓"

Me: "So is pissing outdoors and I've been doing that since I was 6 😎"

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

I'll be 25 in 3 days and for once, I'm actually looking forward to contending with my own mortality again. What can I say about being 24? Let me put it this way: anything that could've gone wrong definitely DID go wrong. I felt like a walking Murphy's Law.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

Today marks 2 years of working 9 to 5 as a postgrad and I don't regret a second of it.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

Frat boys wear Sperrys.
Postgrads wear Birkenstocks.

[Out of Context Human Race @NoContextHumans]

https://t.co/xnRCC34kSP

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

@Twitter is tryna skinny-shame me by manipulating my feed with videos of gym freaks who skip leg day. I know I'm built like an ethernet cable but I consider a fast metabolism, IBS, and a walk after 8 hrs of sedentary work a blessing.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

A customer at work asked me how old I am and then said I sound like a man in his 50s.

10 years of smoking will do that to you.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

When I was 11, I genuinely thought margherita pizza had alcohol in it.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

Shake Shack is slept on

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

I thought I could make it through the holidays without hearing that God-forsaken Mariah Carey Christmas song. I was mistaken. So you know what? Thank you 93.9 Lite FM for playing it during the last few hours of Christmas Day!

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

The only good part about The Banshees of Inisherin was when I got up to take a 20 minute dump.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is an unentertaining waste of a Christmas movie. I've seen Animal House and Van Wilder so I had high hopes for this one. Unfortunately, I was greatly let down. Please don't waste your holiday spirit on it.

[John T. Wall @johntwall]

Chicago hasn't seen the sun for over a week. I can't tell if we're living in Seattle or the UK.