John Waymire

California born. Accounting genius. Avid outdoors-man.

[John Waymire @johnwaymire]

Farmers Tax conference: I've been in cold storage facilities that were warmer than this conference room! #CalCPAConf

[CBS Sports @CBSSports]

IMPORTANT: Nevada LB Brock Hekking still on the board.

Scouts say his mullet is the best of this generation.

[The Academy @TheAcademy]

Genie, you're free.

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

ICYMI: Charlotte Brown is an amazing high school pole vaulter.

She is also blind. #SCfeatured (via @espnW) »
http://t.co/dNvyWzeCkF

[And My Next Selection Is... @AndMyNext]

#BREAKINGNEWS Pretty man matching Tom Brady's description found outside Wes Welker's house holding a boom box over his head.

[John Waymire @johnwaymire]

What the Fox say...it's going to be everywhere by the weekend! http://t.co/77umOTbHZZ via @youtube

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

[theCHIVE @theCHIVE]

Every damn time:

[John Waymire @johnwaymire]

@AnthonyCumia Gang members try to rob a pharmacist who's an expert marksmen. Good guy with a gun stops thugs with guns
http://t.co/liKBndwH

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

If my 5th grade D.A.R.E. officer knew what I was going to be doing tonight, he'd be pretty upset. #BeerMe

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.

[John Waymire @johnwaymire]

#RedSoloCups more ingenious than I ever realized!

[John Waymire @johnwaymire]

I need to remember this line “@MensHumor: I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.”

[John Waymire @johnwaymire]

Freedom is not free. Today, remember to thank those who paid for yours. #veterans

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

My Spanish skills improve under the influence of alcohol. #MakingTeachersProud

[John Waymire @johnwaymire]

#truth

[John Waymire @johnwaymire]

Saw a girl texting drive her car into a concrete wall. First comment when she got out of the car was she couldn't find her phone #baddriver

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

When I’m giving directions over the phone, I wave my arms even if the person can’t see me.

[Women's Humor @womenshumor]

Can someone create an app that sends you a warning text when you are within 50 feet of your ex?