John Wayne

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

@shine_hooligan Hello,
I’m contacting you as part of the crew that worked on the Bruno Mars video. Everyone on set signed NDAs to not post BTS photos, so if you could please take down the posts you have with BTS photos it would be much appreciate. We would rather not pursue legal action. Thank u

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

@brunoinspiredit Hello, this employee did not have approval to post this information. Please take this post down asap.

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

I’m not even wearing one, but I gotta say - mustard colored mock turtlenecks are SWAG INCARNATE. #dontmock #mockturtlenecks

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

Yeah #Arcane is kewl, but can we all agree we collectively turn the audio down during the intro theme so your neighbors don’t think you listen to Imagine Dragons?😶😵‍💫

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

If you played a drinking game (and I highly suggest you alter your conscious in some way) for #oldthemovie and drank every time they say Happened or Happening, you would leave the theater in an ambulance. 🚑

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

@CantUnseeMovie @cevangelista413 The acting is pretty bad, but coming from great actors. So you can attribute it to the bad writing and directing on this one, could have easily been a 25 minute episode of an anthology, with more focus.

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

#OldTheMovie was riddled with wooden performances from good actors. And I didn’t think it was possible, but the words “happened” and “happening” are annoyingly overused, possibly even more than in The Happening. 😮‍💨

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

No one:

Hip and original millennial marketing interns coming up with email blast subject line ideas for clothing companies:
“The perfect (insert article of clothing) don’t exi—😮”

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

Why doesn’t @rianjohnson cast black people in his movies? Look at the history, it’s kinda...odd...🤔

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

This alley cat outside my window has been in heat for at least a month, and at this point I’m willing to jump jive and wail on that puss if it’ll finally put a sock in it. Note: I DO NOT CONDONE BESTIALITY.

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

Worst feelings awards nominee: when you really want to get into that pistachio shell that is less than half open and your thumbnails feel like they’re going to rip right off your hands.

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

I think the sign of a changed man is that WAIT WHAT THE OLYMPICS ARE CANCELLED?!???

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

Nursing homes in 50 years are gonna be hilarious with the residents saying things like “Ayyye, bingo was hella lit today, fam.”

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

For all those workers trying to jump out of their factories due to poor working conditions, the brilliant fireworks animation on @Apple’s iMessage when you type “Happy New Years!” makes it all feel worth it🎆

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

@normmacdonald I’m just some guy in LA, but do you wanna get together, drink some powerades, and watch the #WNBAFinals this afternoon?

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

I can't quite put my finger on it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Chris Christie may have some underlying health issues. #ChrisChristie #covid

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

@AnfinsonGraeme I only wish we both had two uncircumcised penises so we could practice “docking” together (look it up). I guess I’ll have to settle for trying to make you as happy as you’ve always made me. Happy Anniversary - Love, Joy

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

My submission to the World Championships for phonaesthetics is......................... A bun in the oven.

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

If you need some @kanyewest art to hold you over while you wait for #DONDA, check out this sweet as heck print I got framed

[John Wayne @johnwayng]

Every day is Sunday