Joh Smith

Playa/Pimp/All round good egg

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

On a #teambuilding day and the host asked us to describe our life in 3 words.I said "masticating and masturbating" He quickly moved on #lol

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Jimmy the Greek is fuming! @CamdenCouncil have refused his request for a license to keep the takeaway opening until 5am tomorrow morning for the #England #worldcup match. How will the football fans be able to cope without Jimmy's tasty treats? (not a euphemism) #angryGreek

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Well done Kane, I'm glad my Umbongo boycott has been cancelled #England

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Bloody hell this #England team have been average so far. If we lose to Congo I'll be boycotting Umbongo #worldcup

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

With those glasses, Ian Wright looks like he's turning into the old man from Up! #lol #worldcup

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

In the pub with Jimmy the Greek and Mickey C watching the Netherlands Vs Sweden match. Jimmy said "this game is so good I'd take a Dutch oven from a fat man that had eaten a vindaloo to watch the rest of it" whatever floats his boat #weirdGreek #worldcup

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

"Working" from home this week due to the #tubestrike and in solidarity with the strikers I'm not doing any work but instead watching Netflix whilst occasionally moving the mouse. Bob Crow would be proud

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

As it's another few days until payday no-one has money for a night out on the beers in Camden tonight. So I'm staying in and binge watching my snide DVDs of Fresh Fields. Who know maybe I'll go crazy and follow it up by watching French Fields too #rocknroll #AntonRodgersFTW

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Bloody hell, I've just woken up with a splitting headache from a hangover and a kebab in my bed from last night. Shame it wasn't a fit bird #oioi #hungover

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Mickey C told us that he saw Jimmy the Greek buying some rubber johnnies during the week. As Jimmy is single because his bird dumped him last year, we decided he must have wanted a posh wank as there's no way he can get another bird. Jimmy refused to comment #lol

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Out in the pub with Mickey C and Jimmy the Greek #Camden lock up your mothers!

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

I hope #TwoTierKeir doesn't ban X in the UK - where else can I share my deep thoughts with the world? I'll have to go back to shouting them out of my window at passers-by

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

I'm in the office today so I'm amusing myself by speaking to my boss exclusively in Jim Bowen quotes "Super, smashing, great" "there's nothing in this game for two in a bed" I think I may drive him mad by 5pm #lolz

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Mickey C surprised us at the start of the night when he came in and said he'd spent the day with a tranny. It turns out that he had to rent a Ford Transit for work and drive it around the M25 to pick something up

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Out in #Camden with Jimmy the Greek, Mickey C and Jimmy's adopted cousin Chinese John for a pub quiz. None of the other teams found our team name "Ted Damn-Son" as funny as us #philistines

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Getting my costume ready for Jimmy the Greek's legendary #Halloween party tomorrow night. I'm going as zombie Ian Watkins #megalolz

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Quote of the day from Jimmy the Greek. I went to his takeaway for lunch and we were talking about 80s films. Jimmy said he stopped watching E.T when "E.T gave Elliott space AIDS" I nearly choked on my gyros I was laughing so much

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Out for #Saturday afternoon beers in #Camden with Mickey C and Jimmy the Greek. Oi oi the lads!

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Hello again Twitter/X I'm back. I got #addicted to VR #porn so I took a few month's cold turkey from all electronics. I gave my VR headset to Jimmy the Greek, he said that he's going to thoroughly disinfect it before he uses it as he knows all about my dirty business #lol

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

Up in #Hitchin for #MothersDay visiting me old Ma. We're heading out for a classic Sunday carvery for lunch. Time to pile up the plate with as much food as possible

[Joh Smith @johsmith]

In the #pub with Jimmy the Greek and Mickey C. Jimmy is complaining about some #SpiceGirls song that was banned and said that he's going to play it for 24 hours on repeat in the takeaway starting tomorrow. I'm sure the drunk customers tomorrow night will appreciate that #lol