JoJo Speredelozzi

i’m not interesting, i can’t help u

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

uri in 2019: look we built this beautiful new engineering building for you!

uri in 2020: it’s illegal to go inside buildings

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

caleb: “ya know ppl that like. throw up every time they drink? i just think they don’t have enough fortitude”

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

my arch nemesis is pierre baguette (french, gluten)

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

This deadly t-shirt was made in #TeeKO. Get it for your torso: https://t.co/ugLiXZHe6s

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

Gilderoy Lockhart is the definition of rizz

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

pokémon spoilers (based on me watching caleb play): the robot professor commits acts of ecoterrorism on the pokémon’s??? brutal

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

@calebhines0 roy oza thinks sheep and cows r the same animal

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

bella (pointing): wait who’s that guy over there? i think i recognize him from somewhere
me: THATS FUCKING JABBA BITCH
bella: from??… men in black!

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

caleb: it’s really impressive that you’ve never broken character
me: that’s just? my personality????

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

me: this is quite possibly the worst wine i’ve ever dranken
ellie: then stop drinking it
me: no ❤️

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

mentos>>>>>>tictacs

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

in french whip cream is “shawty” (according to the french)

[Themperor Kennedée🐸🏳️‍🌈 @kennedytcooper]

This unsettles me more than I thought it would

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

watching someone get interrogated on a tv show and they had EEG going for some reason but they put them on so shittily. my man idk what signals u were trying to get but there is absolutely zero contact between the skin and the electrode, any signal u get is only gonna be noise

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

“if i get mercury poisoning, it will be a great example of bioaccumulation” i think as i follow up all you can eat sushi yesterday with a tuna fish sandwich now

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

all good ideas become bad ideas once bureaucracy is done with them

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

organizer of this dinner just came up to our table to let us know that we could order more wine if we want to just for us to have to tell him that we are already almost done with our 3rd bottle (he was telling us cuz all the other tables were just finishing their first)

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

actually i passed. C’s get degrees baby

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

im about to fail this italian medical imaging exam but at least the classroom has a nice view of vesuvius

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

they just put whatever on netflix now. this movie’s premise was george washington, but with chainsaws for hands.

[JoJo Speredelozzi @jojo_ozzi]

never have i felt peer pressure to drink as much as when i go out to dinner with the portuguese