Jobi-Wan Kenobi

I try and get kids to like poetry and Shakespeare for a living.

[Roman Kemp @romankemp]

This video from @NorwichCityFC is the best bit of Mental Health Awareness I’ve ever seen… watch until the end.

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

Sat in the pub with a nice cold pint watching @LUFC go down. How does it go again, ‘Here we go, relegation’? Be good to see a proper West Yorkshire derby with @htafc next season

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

@gabrielsoundz1 @UberFacts My guy, having sex isn’t usually hard, unless you aren’t.

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

@missdcox I told them that when I was at school most people were on pay as you go rather than having phone contracts, and texts used to cost 12p, but doubled if you went over a certain word count. One kid straight up called me a liar 😂

[Clint Smith @ClintSmithIII]

I was recently on a flight to Charlotte, and when the flight landed two women, one Black one white, got into an argument after bumping into one another in the aisle. When they got off the plane, the white woman turned to the Black woman, red with anger, and called her the n-word.

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

@Backpainandwine 3. They can be disruptive. A crying or excitable child can ruin the mood. A wedding goes from being very quiet to very loud, which can be a bit much for young kids to process.

I don’t want your kids to be upset, and I don’t them screaming in the middle of my vows.

4/4

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

@Backpainandwine 2. Wedding are a whole day affair. If they are coming to the evening (the fun bit with dancing and cake) then they’ll have been there for at least 8-10 hours.

That’s a long time for a little human, and a lot of them would get a bit crabby after a while.

3/4

[Alice @alicescrambled]

Seriously, this is what they went with?

When ‘Tsarbucks’ was right there for the taking?

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

@chazz_cheron Glad things are getting better man, much love ❤️

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

@chazz_cheron Can confirm they still do

[LADbible @ladbible]

5 years ago today we lost one of the best frontmen and singers of all time.

RIP Chester Bennington.

[Adam Kay @amateuradam]

It's not normally a good look to criticise the quality of someone's written English. But I'm happy to make an exception when they're an education minister.

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

@isleofmandan @SueBostwick @MissLChilds Scandalous 😂

[Gavin Purcell @gavinpurcell]

Do not let the Will Smith / Chris Rock drama distract you from the fact that…

@questlove JUST WON AN OSCAR

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

Just listened to the new version of @edsheeran’s Bad Habits with @bmthofficial and all I could think of was how hard it would it be trying to explain this collab to someone who’d been in a coma since 2011

[Eli🇬🇭 @thisfoodbangz]

There are leeches and then there are year 7s these guys know how to drain the energy from me honestly how many times do I have to answer the same questions

[Jobi-Wan Kenobi @JoMars96]

@KeldaChilds Was lovely, thanks for having me 😊