Jon Abbott

Leeds. Yorkshire.
Bikes. Beer.
Data. Fintech.
Ranting at a TV near you.

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

"I didn't move in those circles. It was more pentagrams..."

#newsnight

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

I'm a 50-something white male liberal who doesn't believe in God. If anything I'm overqualified for the position but since it comes with a nice gaff on the Thames and a seat in the HoL I'll lower my sights. Where do I apply?

#ArchbishopOfBanterbury

[Pippa Crerar @PippaCrerar]

BREAKING: Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby has resigned.

"It is very clear that I must take personal and institutional responsibility for the long and retraumatising period between 2013 and 2024...

"I hope this decision makes clear how seriously the Church of England understands the need for change and our profound commitment to creating a safer church.

"As I step down I do so in sorrow with all victims and survivors of abuse.

"The last few days have renewed my long felt and profound sense of shame at the historic safeguarding failures of the Church of England.

"For nearly twelve years I have struggled to introduce improvements. It is for others to judge what has been done."

[JKA 🇺🇸🎭❄🌊 @Mafhoney]

So the First Lady Elon Musky banned Stephen King because he called him the First Lady.

I guess Musky's big play about free speech on Twitter or X-rated bizarre land doesn't apply if hurts your wittle feewings.

LoL ❤️��🤣

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

Of course he does.

Obvious fix but who cares... happy retirement Cav.

[Tour de France™ @LeTour]

CAV WINS!

#TDFSG 🇸🇬

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

How hard is it to conduct an actual exit poll in the US that asks "Who did you vote for?" rather than "Which colour M&Ms are best?"?
UK polling is on a different planet...
#USElections2024

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

100% more policy content than your typical Trump speech.

[Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets]

We must move forward, not backward. #ElectionDay

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

got a little emotional realizing that this might be the last time we hear Trump rant about windmills at a rally https://t.co/9F8q7vG8Er

[Elise Thomas @elisethoma5]

1. I've found a large, AI-driven bot network on X which is posting in support of Trump in the US election.

Thread.

[(((Dan Hodges))) @DPJHodges]

People asking why I'd vote Harris. In 1992 George Bush glanced at his watch during a debate, and it effectively ended his Presidency. Last week Trump told a man who claimed he'd been savaged in his bed by demons he'd like Liz Cheney to have guns shoved in her face. That's why.

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

Nigel Farage, tirelessly serving the people of Clacton by getting paid to fly to America, talk bollocks and kiss Trump’s arse.

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

Full fat tin hat.

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Tucker Carlson: "People are like, 'oh, well, we had another hurricane, it must be global warming.' No! It's probably abortion, actually. Just being honest. You can't kill children on purpose. You can't participate in human sacrifice without consequences."

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

Putting someone who can't do maths in charge of the education brief. Smart move...

[Sky News @SkyNews]

BREAKING: Laura Trott appointed shadow education secretary, Sky News understands

https://t.co/EYjvDesOMv

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

So a bit like Hull then.

[Armando Iannucci @Aiannucci]

Why? Mars is a toxic hellscape. The reason there’s no life on Mars is because nothing wants to live there.

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

Easy wall again...

#onlyconnect

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

C45 is a bit of a stretch. 60, 90, 120... 45s very rare.

#onlyconnect

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

You sure that's not Wayne Rooney?

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

There's impressive...and then there's this.

#Kona2024
#BillyMonger

https://t.co/zJ3M9z8a2z

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

Never knew the Democrats had Magical Trevor on the ticket.

https://t.co/SZp8c1G138

[Acyn @Acyn]

Trump: These people are for real. The cows are going to disappear, no more cows, no more anything. These people are crazy.

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

And there it is. Bezos is worried about Musk. Explains a lot.

[Jon Abbott @jon_abbott]

Got to say I'm impressed. Quite how Strava figured I was feeling crap (bar the pace - but might have just been a Z2/3 session) is beyond me.

[Strava @Strava]

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