Jon Pratty

Content & Strategy, Midis Group, Beirut; Assoc Director, MSL Discover; Judge #tech4goodawards, #GLAMI awards; journalist, writer, happy, deaf.

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

Nice work by Doug Belshaw. This got me thinking - would cultural organisations like museums benefit from #OpenWorking practices? There's also a hint of connections to the underdeveloped cultural circular economy. #museums #musetech

[Chris Smith @renewablesmiffy]

Rance 240MW tidal project is still pushing out 500GW per annum after 60 years of operation

It paid back to the French government by 1985 and operates at €20/MWh

Britain has some of the best tidal resources in the world but operates just 8MW of tidal.

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

@FennellJW Buy back some C130s with lowish hours, bring all recruitment back in-house, build some amphibious platforms!

[Frank Place 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @BotFinderUK]

6am in Makerfield this morning 🇬🇧💪 leaflet’s in hand, England in my heart and not a single person willing too listen. One woman opened her curtains, saw my turquoise Reform jacket and actually shouted “oh for fuck sake” before slamming them shut again. A bloke walking a Staffie told me Rob Kenyon “wouldn’t know a working class person if one delivered his Ocado order.” Typical lefty abuse 🤡

Still, I persevered. That’s what patriot’s do 🇬🇧

I kept telling people Rob is a man of the people despite being a millionaire because he once had a pint in Wetherspoons and smiled at a scaffolder. Yet somehow nobody appreciated my political analysis. One lad in a hi-vis asked why every Reform canvasser looks like they’ve been barred from at least three Toby Carveries 😂 absolutely disgracefull thing too say.

By 9am I was emotionally exhausted so I went into ASDA for a calming shop and a proper English brioche loaf 🇬🇧 Naturally there was none left because, as I loudly explained too nobody in particular, “this country is heading toward a caliphate where you cant even get proper baked goods anymore.” 😡

At this point a woman near the yoghurts muttered “what the fuck are you talking about?” but before I could explain the brioche-to-Sharia pipeline properly, none other than Terry Christian appeared beside the reduced sausage’s looking deeply embarrassed on behalf of the nation.

He calmly pointed out that:

Brioche is French.

ASDA running out of bread isn’t evidence of Islamic takeover.

I sounded like “a divorced uncle who gets his news from Facebook comments under a photo of a Spitfire.” 🇬🇧

People nearby started laughing. One bloke dropped an avocado. A child actually pointed at me and asked his mum why the angry man was sweating into a Union Jack lanyard 😡

Then, humiliatingly, some smartarse started blasting “Ebony and Ivory” from his phone. Before long half the bakery aisle joined in while looking at me like I was some museum exhibit called “The Last Facebook Comment Section.”

I stormed out shouting “you’ll all regret this when George Soros replaces Greggs with halal vape lounges!!!” 🇬🇧 only too immediately collide with Gemma Collins outside the entrance.

“The GC” looked me up and down with visible disappointment and said: “Babe… your exhausting. Have a caramel latte and calm down.”

Honestly devastating.

Things somehow got worse. Police approached me after several complaint’s that I’d been canvassing aggressively outside people’s houses at 6am while muttering about Gary Lineker controlling the BBC weather map 📺🇬🇧 One officer asked why I’d accused Angela Rayner of “personally importing militant brioche shortages.”

I tried explaining the connection’s between Starmer, Lineker, Rayner and George Soros using a diagram I’d drawn on the back of an Iceland receipt but the younger officer looked genuinely concerned for my wellbeing.

Eventually they told me too go home and “stop bothering strangers before breakfast.”

So I returned too are semi-detached fortress of truth 🇬🇧 microwaved a Findus crispy pancake and settled down too watch my old VHS of The Flashing Blade while posting angry comments about migrant’s under a video of a Labrador playing piano.

Later tonight I’ve got a paid video call booked with an OnlyFans girl from Doncaster who definitely likes me and isn’t just pretending because I send her £140 a month and once bought her an air fryer off are Amazon wishlist ❤️🇬🇧

She called me “king” last week.

The left cant stand too see a patriot winning 🇬🇧💪

[Jonathan Cook @Jonathan_K_Cook]

@YvetteCooperMP UK foreign secretary Yvette Cooper is incensed by Itamar Ben Gvir's public abuse of international activists for showing solidarity with Palestinians in Gaza.

That's the same Yvette Cooper who changed UK law to jail British activists who show solidarity with Palestinians in Gaza

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

@JDIrwinbooks A somewhat well-off ex girlfriend of mine spent £18,000 on front room curtains. £4k for two sofas seems OK compared to that...

[Andy Bush @bushontheradio]

What TV show intro theme do you hear in your head following THIS?

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

@android_dogma @bushontheradio Yes, absolutely. One of the best TV programmes ever. Monumental.

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

Says former Cabinet Minister happy to serve (under) Liz Truss...

[Robert Jenrick @RobertJenrick]

Genius.

Bring back the guy who gave away our gold reserves to advise on ‘economic resilience’.

What could possibly go wrong.

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

@GrayfellaNAFO @theiaincameron In deepest Worcestershire, immediately south of Birmingham, you get hybrid rural West Country and soft Brummie accent. Which never, ever shows up in The Archers! Drive south from north Worcestershire and head towards Evesham and Pershore it's really deepest west country I reckon.

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

@Warge6 @GrayfellaNAFO @theiaincameron Yes, I agree with this. I'm from Malvern, which has a lot of Welsh and west country twangs.

[Dr Peter Caddick-Adams #StandwithUkraine @militaryhistori]

Lively village goings-on in the telephone box library of Cornholme, W. Yorks.

[James Hogg @JamesAHogg2]

This Two Ronnies sketch was never televised originally (it appeared many years later), but I’ve no idea why. It was written by Ronnie Barker, under the pseudonym Gerald Wiley, and for my money it gives Four Candles a run for it’s money. Seriously, if I’d written something this good I’d just retire immediately.

What a talent!

Good morning.

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

@TheDoorRestorer My 1st job as a young 'un was sweeping up the floor on site and collecting screws for reuse. Nothing was thrown away. Dad's shed was full of boxes of screws, old & new, sorted into types. Always insisted on the right screw for the job, and lining up the head vertically when done

[PoliticsJOE @PoliticsJOE_UK]

Turns out Hannah Spencer has the popular opinion on this one..

[John Smith (son of Harry Leslie Smith) @Harryslaststand]

British MPs want to drink during the day and have their housing expenses covered by the state. Sounds to me like they are the real benefits cheats.

[TonyMac @TonyMac67s]

Hit the nail on the head.
The stench of entitlement is off the charts.
Yearly medicals, weekly alcohol and drug testing, performance reviews and more.
Just to work in construction.
And these pissed up charlatans are making life Changing decisions.

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Things that became normal between 1970 and 2020:

Children in glasses by the age of eight.
Teenage boys on antidepressants.
Adult women on thyroid medication.
Middle-aged men on statins and blood pressure pills.
Pensioners on seven daily medications.
Primary school classrooms where three in a class are on a stimulant prescription.

Things that were normal before 1970:

None of the above.

The running excuse has been better diagnosis. It is a serviceable excuse for about one of the items on that list. It does not cover the rest.

Something changed. Many things changed. Most of them were edible.

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

Lol

[Guenther Steiner ➐ @HaasF1TeamBoss]

Proud to announce I am returning as Team Principal for @HaasF1Team!

I have mended my relationship with Gene as he finally wants to reach his hands down his pockets and hand me some focking money.

I’m excited to re-cement my place in the F1 Team Principal hall of fame!

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

@BladeoftheS Aldi and Lidl choc is much nicer than Cadburys... Tony's is also preferable and I like the big chunky bars. Sad to see the Cadbury brand being ruined.

[Jon Pratty @jon_pratty]

@ElliotT00good @BladeoftheS Agreed with this - both Aldi and Lidl choc is nicer than Cadburys. Sad how the brand is being ruined.