Jonathan van Halem

lets go mets BABY

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

@Hisnameischris1 whoa

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

@edwardbrgr nobody has the guts to say it but spotlight is a really good movie

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

enough watching celebrities day drink with seth meyers. i want to watch them do ecstasy with terry gross

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

mad men writer: but who will we get to play this off-putting nine year old?

matthew weiner: i know the perfect kid for the role

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

(me when i notice a party has started thinning out) man, it's like hbo's the leftovers in here

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

what is an opinion about jonathan van halem that will have you like this?

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

mrs. met is the kind of woman that billy joel writes songs about

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

@martinonyc rare bad martino take

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

@pitchprofiler is there a resource where i can read what this all means? or is there a most important, all-encompassing statistic on here to hone in on? something akin to WAR?

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

i am breaking my twitter silence to announce that i am hosting hot gossip at the bell house. included in admission one (1) free kissing lesson with... yours truly

[The Bell House @BellHouseNY]

JUST ANNOUNCED! Hot Gossip Comedy with @jon_vanhalem on Sunday, April 27th!

Jonathan van Halem (@ClickHole) pauses his perpetual gab sesh to host an evening of stand-up comedy! Featuring Cat Cohen, @jaboukie, @hotelartthief & More!

Tickets on sale now: https://t.co/CE6rpBa8te

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

@MetsdUp throw in desmond lindsay and you got a deal

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

(me if i was in wicked) you’re cool. don’t come to shiz tomorrow

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

chandler and i did what everyone else in brooklyn comedy was afraid to do: speak truth to power to presidential historians

[Chandler Dean @chandlerjdean]

Ignore the pundits. Ignore the models. Ignore the vibes. @jon_vanhalem and I have solved the election and shared our findings with @mcsweeneys.

https://t.co/VgavrRyKWI

[Chandler Dean @chandlerjdean]

Ignore the pundits. Ignore the models. Ignore the vibes. @jon_vanhalem and I have solved the election and shared our findings with @mcsweeneys.

https://t.co/VgavrRyKWI

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

i did a blind taste test

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

here are all the movies i saw during my 22 months on the A List. some doubles bc i saw it twice, but most bc i didn’t make the first screening so i just booked again for a later date

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

amc a-list is a total scam, two good movies don't come out every month

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

@JulieAbridged i bring a unique set of skills to the chat of terminally online + ability to harness 2010s memes for good 🫡

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

hitler reacts to straight guys at chappell roan

[Jonathan van Halem @jon_vanhalem]

if you live in brooklyn and thought this was funny i have a live show this saturday at @littlefieldnyc. $5 with the code SECRET

https://t.co/4fLDpyAzUM