Jonas Polsky

Crouching Triumph, Hidden Smigel

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

Being alive is so cringe.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

@WintersChef @CoinersTakingLs Owning NFTs with one simple trick. Cryptobros hate him

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

@CoinersTakingLs Imagine receiving $1,000 from the government and you decide to spend it on a pixelated jpeg of a nerd.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

@CoinersTakingLs I'm already four moves ahead

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

@ConSelfOwns "seize" - take hold of suddenly and forcibly.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

1. Working class pays taxes.
2. Government redistributes taxes to corporations and millionaires through tax breaks and subsidies.
3. Corporations and millionaires pay no taxes.
4. Working class receives nothing.

Truly, this is the best system.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

@RightWingCope

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

@AutumnRhodess Your streams are my therapy 🥰🥰🥰

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

@MrDalekJD You misspelled "iconic." 🧽

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

We're all in the gutter, but some of us are sleeping in our cars.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

Having wealthy, influential parents is the cornerstone of navigating any meritocracy.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

Hugh Grant should write an autobiography and call it "Huge Rant."

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

Electrical tape is great if you want something to stay in one place for 24 hours.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

It's crazy to think that the Oscars were created by Oscar Goldman, the man who invented acting.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

Wait until these idiots realize that the Earth is FLAT on one side, and ROUND on the other.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

Police will pull you over to see if you're committing a crime. And if you're NOT committing a crime, the police will commit one for you.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

I'm a hardcore fan, of softcore porn.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

A hookup is just a foster girlfriend.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

My critics claim I'm only marrying for her family's money, which is an enormous insult to my lovely fiancée, Theresa Mastercard.

[Jonas Polsky @JonasPolsky]

Food should work the same way it does in video games. If you eat something healthy, you should get stronger for like 20 minutes.