David

You can make a million dollars just by singing the blues.

[staxxx🦅 @papiwontmiss]

God bless this man 😌

[Taylor Day @TABYTCHI]

This and never hearing about a “teen takeover” ever again

[Heidi Montag @heidimontag]

Watch out for hate… it’s the devil.

[Travis Barker @travisbarker]

I just met a dog named Travis Barker

[Three Year Letterman @3YearLetterman]

My boss can fuck right off if he thinks I’m doing a goddamn thing today

[Peter St Onge, Ph.D. @profstonge]

I'm starting to think Communism isn't about equality, it's about power 🤔

[Gene Parmesan @dsonoiki]

call this bitch Elizabeth Warren the way she killin my spirit

[Flappr @flapprdotnet]

When you see your homie walk out of his JPMorgan performance review.

[Bobby Wagner @bwags]

sports in the streaming era are so cool. is it easier to find? no. is the broadcast weirdly dark and gray? yes. is the connection more reliable? definitely not. it must be cheaper then? also no

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

Every Gatorade commercial is an athlete. I just want 1 hungover person. That’s all I ask.

[David @DavidKlein5]

@ladyredsoxxx Bro been eating good. Already got some excess pounds for next winter.

[Sage Steele @sagesteele]

Ridiculous headline - No one is barred from competing. Call yourself what you want - man, woman, alien, furry - but it doesn’t change your biological sex. Thanks to the IOC & Kirsty Coventry for basing your decision on science & doing the right thing: protecting women’s sports!

[leopard print bussy @bigsnugga]

you have no idea how much you'll miss this stuff when you no longer get it

[Mason Home Builder @bankertobuilder]

Everyone wants a safe, nice neighborhood where kids can play in the streets

We just bought an abandoned K-Mart and turned it into your new home

Starting in the low $500,000s just 75 miles outside of Denver

The dream of home ownership is still alive in America!

[Eric Matheny 🎙️ @ericmmatheny]

If you come here from Somalia and apply for a fraudulent $4 million grant for a daycare that doesn’t exist, that’s okay.

If you are 22 years old, willing to die for your country, and you eat a ribeye, that’s outrageous.

Did I get that right?

[brit @pashedmotatos]

It’s like Ayatollah wack a mole out there

[Lauren🏒 @Ms_NYRangers]

Well, well, well. Look who came crawling back

[JT @jiratickets]

Knew a dude who emailed the IT guy directly instead of submitting a ticket and they blew his shit smoove off

[David @DavidKlein5]

Good luck champ. Results are results keep running them plays.