DandyStorm

sorry about the mess, my heart wasn’t expecting visitors…currently enjoying your content, not posting anything, just enjoying the show…have a seat !

[✪ Evil Te𝕏an ✪ @vileTexan]

What guys do as soon everybody leave the house

[naiive @naiivememe]

eggs watching the rest of the fridge from their private balcony

[The Ogunboy 🌚 @AlafinOfOgun]

gay dating is so hard bc not only are you limited to 10% of the population, you then have to narrow that down to if they’re compatible sexually, then are they emotionally mature and available, then are you even attracted to them… every happy gay couple is a statistical anomaly

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

Knowing that cats have excellent night vision, and then realizing that if they step on your face in the middle of the night, it's a decision

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

It's amazing how much you can accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over.

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

i thought he married a centaur for a second😭

[love drops @lovedropx]

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted to lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty. How free it is, you have no idea how free — the peacefulness is so big it dazes you, and it asks nothing,

Sylvia Plath, from "Tulips" in Collected Poems

[mason⸆⸉ 🌊☁️ | petal @portofino_view]

why is dick van dyke an acceptable name but pussy van faggot isn’t

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

I totally understand you

[BenBen @ianabrhm]

Opening Grindr when you're bored is literally just checking an empty fridge over and over, hoping new options magically showed up.

[Softboy @softboywin]

Dear Apple,

Nobody needs to know I’m emailing from my iPhone.

Sent from my iPhone

[𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 🗼 @NamarPoojzi]

Je monte dans le métro je vois un mec qui tiens ça (zoomez pitié)

[iloveyourmummyjsyk @g4na_xo]

abbreviation is such a long word for what it means

[Delphine @grandebougie]

Dans les salons de coiffure il y a toujours des cheveux par terre.
Dans les garages il y a toujours de l'huile par terre.
Les banques c'est quoi votre problème..?!

[Daily Fitness @DailyFitHQ]

A set of home exercises for sculpting the abs

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

I wish we had mashed potato shops the same way we have ice cream shops. You could go and get yourself a little cup of mashed potatoes with toppings of your choice, like Parmesan cheese, bacon bits, sour cream, or garlic.

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999. I want to buy a house like it’s 1999.

[Gilles @gilleslaugier]

Mon train OUIGO a été supprimé 44 min avant le départ, zéro réacheminement, 775 km de route de nuit à mes frais. En me défendant, j'ai découvert que presque personne ne connaît ses droits — et que ça arrange bien la SNCF. Alors je les publie. 🧵 #OuigoCestSNCF #OuigoGalere

[fishy and chips I DID NOT BUY PREMIUM @FATFUCKINGCHUD1]

Cock and balls reveal