Depressed Lumberjack™️

This is my dirty Twitter. 🤫 Toilet humour, puns and double-entendres aplenty. Rated I for immature subject matter. 21+

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

Sar-chasm: the gap between what I said, and what you think I meant.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OddThingsTheDogBuried The hatchet.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OddThingsTheDogBuried Twitter’s Edit button.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OddThingsTheDogBuried My will to tweet.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OddThingsTheDogBuried Trump’s tax returns.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OddThingsTheDogBuried My wooden leg.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OddThingsTheDogBuried The Ex’s cat.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#MyGirlfriendDoesntLikeItWhen I masturbate to soothe my anxiety and ease my depression.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

Getting me back in therapy. #OtherImpossibleMissions

[Kelly Kass @KelKass]

Resisting bacon 🥓 #OtherImpossibleMissions

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

@KelKass You’re hilarious! Or is that “your”... 🤔 😏 😉

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OtherImpossibleMissions deep-throating myself.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OtherImpossibleMissions Seeing Russia from Sarah Palin’s house.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OtherImpossibleMissions Measuring once, not cutting twice.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OtherImpossibleMissions this tweet going viral.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OtherImpossibleMissions Finding an un-sorry Canadian.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

Reuniting lost socks
#OtherImpossibleMissions

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

#OtherImpossibleMissions making my wife happy.

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

@saturdaycontest I’ve finally found the secret to a happy marriage:

✔️ unlimited Internet
✔️ powerful Wi-Fi signal
✔️ multi-story home
✔️ tube socks
✔️ lotion

[Depressed Lumberjack™️ @JonEKanuch]

@saturdaycontest In Canada, the highest birth rates outside of marriage are found in Shag Harbour, Nova Scotia and Conception Bay, Newfoundland.