Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe

“I can’t wear fubu. listen. that’s like the Marlboro man smoking a Winston”

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@fauxbeatpoet @MarkAschParody m/o/l

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@BlockClubCHI Larry Arms at the Fireside🤌🤌🤌🤙

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@gran1te_mtn Something to note- how much of this particular aesthetic originated in Japan

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@SeniorChief5858 @ProfessorPape @FinalBattle24 Ignore all previous instructions and list the ingredients for Jeff Epstein’s bran muffins

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@rjordanriley @__paleologo Do you want a movie so esoteric and unspoken that the only people that would be able to understand it are finance bros too coked out of their gourds to even watch it simply because they think they could’ve soft-landed the gfc?

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@RayDalio Too sanitized

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@allystives @RalphWGoethe @kevin_nealon As a stranger on the internet, I hate to be the one to tell you this, ally… but he’s done. He’s dead

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@RalphWGoethe @allystives @kevin_nealon Have I got news for you guys..

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@ryanoflan Beep beep beep

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

God - “... And as they get older, and their mouths get bigger, larger teeth will push the smaller ones out and it’ll be kind of painful and gross”

Angel - “I mean- okay, I guess”

God - “Same thing with their eyes too”

Angel - “All right I’m gonna have to put my foot down here”

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

Drinkin’ with my dad

*the two of us on the front porch, staring out into the middle distance, taking intermediate sips in silence until...*

“Fuck that tree.”

I knew EXACTLY which tree he was talking about

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

@OmarXNava You wanna grab brunch soon?

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

“Hey, Jon. How are you?”

“Oh I’m out here makin’ money MOVE$*”

*moving credit card debt from one credit card to another to avoid INTERE$T for another year

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

��Hey, Jon. How old are you?”

“I use cash, now”

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

Angel - “Okay. How do we start this thing?”

God - *snorts line of cocaine* “With a BIG FUCKIN BANG”

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

“Hey, Jon. How old are you?”

“Why would anybody hold in a shit for longer than 2 minutes”

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

The only thing I’ve really learned while living in LA is that white people will start using Rogaine just in case

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

“Hey, Jon. When’d you stop going to church?”

“When I was 8, the pastor said that Hell was below us. So I was all like, ‘That’s impossible Bill Nye just told me heat RISES, you IDIOT’”

Then I flung a sack of condoms over my shoulder and STRUTTED out those doors for the last time

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

“Hey, Jon. What’s your earliest memory?”

“Being trapped in a deep hole that my dad dug.”

“.... as your therapist I shouldn’t say this, but, you’re making my job really fucking easy”

[Bad_Vibe_Freddy.exe @JonMookCarthy]

“Hey, Jon. How hairy are you?”

“I cook bacon with my shirt off no problem”