jonte680

lazy intellect!!

[Real Madrid C.F. 🇬🇧🇺🇸 @realmadriden]

👋 Welcome, Mourinho 👋

[Cristiano Ronaldo @Cristiano]

CHAMPIONS!!!!! 🏆 🟡🔵

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

❤️🤍 OFFICIAL: ARSENAL WIN THE PREMIER LEAGUE 2025/26!

Historical achievement for Mikel Arteta and his team after 22 YEARS. 🏆✨

[Reece James @ReeceJames]

2006 a kid arrived at Chelsea with a dream in his heart, boots too big for his feet, but belief from the start. Fast forward to 2026, still wearing the same blue shirt with the same fire inside. This club raised me, shaped me, and gave me a place to call home. Through every game, every battle, every lesson I’ve grown. Now the journey rolls on, the dream still true. Extended till 2032… and still bleeding blue.

[Cop Shakur @CopShakurkihara]

Kalif Kairo ni GOAT. At his age, he took the risk of taking loans to open a multimillion-shilling office, hoping things would work out.

How many of us would be willing to take such a risk?

Kairo, keep moving. What has happened to you has happened to many young people with big ambitions, the only difference is that you are a public figure.

If you listen to most successful men out here, your story is similar to theirs.

You haven't failed,but you've learned,dust yourself off and keep moving.

Your story will motivate generations.

Strong brother 💪

[Jim Njue @jimNjue_]

Don’t say anything. Just Retweet #RutoMustGo

[Debz🇫🇷 @DebbyChelsea10]

Joao Pedro goal
Cucurella goal
Enzo Fernandez goal
Chelsea fans all over the world!! Retweet and drop a "💙💙💙💙💙💙💙" under this tweet. Let’s follow each other, follow me too..
Come on Chelsea !!!
What a comeback!!!

[jonte680 @jonnie_thuo]

@KaberiaCommoner Mko na prokopanda mingi

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Jomo Gecaga left Ann Kiguta with three kids and went for a fresh yellow-yellow damsel who still qualifies for girlfriend allowance. Early this year, Madam Ann activated Season 4, Episode 19 of The Tears of Jerusalem. She has been throwing utterances in parables huko kwa baddies app like a rattled venomous cobra.

I once saw one of her demand letters floating around the internet,, my friend, that thing had more drama than Telemundo, more threats than KPLC disconnection notices, and more paragraphs than the Bible.

Jomo loved Ann but Ann loved ambition, theatrics and emotional Olympics. She forgot where she came from and that’s how Lola Hannigan walked in, collected everything like a supermarket trolley, and even asked for loyalty points at the counter.

And as you can see, our boy has good taste. He doesn’t just chew, he experiments with them. That's why I've always insisted to Marry young if you want peace. Because when a woman reaches the “I’m not arguing, I’m addressing patterns” phase, your blood pressure becomes a public resource.

Lola is 22 years younger than Jomo. Meaning our boy will now age backwards. He will glow. He will moisturize by association. He will be mistaken for a DJ at club 1824. He will start using words like vibes, canon event, clock it, low-key, and literally unironically. Old men with money are not just eating good, they are also sleeping well.

Another beautiful day to remind men to look for money. Because money gives you youth, peace, and access to fine things even in your sunset days. It's also another gentle reminder to the bitter feminism department in their 30s with bodies shaped like an insect,,, head, abdomen & thorax.

Wanjiru, please go to the gym. Hydrate, Mind your nyash & you 3 big stomachs. Balance your nyash & boobs, Care for your body & Look for money. Because no man is coming to rescue you while your stomach arrives five minutes before you do and your nyash is living in two different constituencies. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Just like other half-wit Kenyan celebrities who think sympathy seeking is a retirement plan, Jaymo Ule Msee woke up one day and decided that Kenyans are now his biological parents. Rent, Food & upkeep money should be provided by his fans. His problems became a National disaster. When his half-baked comedy career finally died, our boy didn’t look for new material.

He joined the Tutam Praise & worship Team, hoping that singing “Ruto my Dad” would magically unlock CDF, NG-CDF and IMF funding at the same time. Sadly, even the Yamune govt is tired of having liabilities in its camp especially if it's someone from Murima.

At some point, he turned into a full-time professional government hype man, mocking the same youths who were busy being tear-gassed for good governance, just to impress the Yamune cartels in govt. Unfortunately, serikali watched his clout and said hapa hakuna mtu. Next stop? Spiritual tourism.

Our brother packed his financial problems, folded his debts neatly, and relocated them to the mosque. He converted to a Muslim, not because of deep spiritual conviction, but because Pastor T was allegedly “too busy” to attend to his predicaments.

So now Pastor T is the official scapegoat for Jaymo’s broken wallet, bad decisions and expired career. Instead of walking into the church next door like a normal human being, Jaymo wanted VIP salvation with home delivery.

He wanted the pastor to chase him like Safaricom calling about a forgotten M-shwari debt. Now let’s be honest, we all know this is not about Islam. This is Eastleigh Economics 101.

He saw Cassypool getting money & gifts after converting and said he must also get a piece of the cake. So now Jaymo is waiting for Sheikh to call him & sanitize his empty pockets.

Trust me, the moment Sheikh stops picking his calls and Eastleigh Elites closes their wallet, this man will suddenly discover Hinduism, Buddhism, Jehova witness and maybe even Scientology if there are donors.

By 2026, he’ll be standing somewhere in Kakamega Forest In front of Dini ya Msambwa believers & chant, “My people, this is my true spiritual calling.” Kenyan celebrities have truly perfected sympathy seeking art. Wherever there’s money, that’s where the spirit is moving.

There spiritual motto is Amen, Assalamualaikum and Namaste, depending on the bank balance. 2026 hatuchangi mtu, in fact we will start beating celebrities if need be. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[jonte680 @jonnie_thuo]

@thefutballboy_1 He should be standaing all day

[England @England]

Join us in wishing @JohnTerry26 a very happy birthday! 🦁

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

Captain. Leader. Legend.

Happy birthday, John Terry! 💙

[Heisenberg @DrJuma_M]

CONFIRMED:Ruto wanted that 1.6B Badly because He wants to steal 3/4 of it and put in Big Tanks,The other 1/4 build small Roads here and there to Justify his Tutam Reelection. If He Achieves Tutam,Change constitution and Become Museveni, Increase More Taxes and Drive Millions Of Kenyans to Depression and Eventually Sayuni,we are Totally Screwed @EAukot .

[BRAVIN YURI @BravinYuri]

Chelsea will win the EPL.

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

Thank you for your support today. 💙

#CFC | #CHEARS

[Premier League India @PLforIndia]

Reece James, what a performance! 👏

#CHEARS | @ChelseaFC

[Mbiti Mwondi Maino,MD @mbiti_mwondi]

Chelsea are a serious team don’t count them out of the league. They’ve played superb today!

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

A LETTER TO THE GREAT PEOPLE OF MT KENYA!!

My dear brothers, it would have been easier for Uhuru Kenyatta to impeach Ruto as his deputy bcoz he had Baba, Power and resources. The claims that Uhuru didn't have the numbers to impeach Ruto is a fallacy. If that was true, Aden Duale, Susan Kihika and Kipchumba Murkomen would not have lost their positions in parliament.

Uhuru knew exactly who Ruto was and prudently declined to risk the country reverting to violent clashes. Believe me, you people of Murima are a very special breed & you will for long be the masters and kingmakers of this country. The way you handled Gachagua’s impeachment surprised many, it even shocked Ruto himself.

He expected Mt. Kenya to erupt into chaos and violence so he could justify his 42 against 1 mission. Imagine if Uhuru had succeeded in impeaching Ruto, do you think your people living in Rift Valley would have remained alive to see another Dp being sworn in.

I speak as a Kalenjin Arap Towett, I know how our people behave politically. We are intense and sometimes hostile when politics becomes existential. The moment parliament would have confirmed the impeachment, Eldoret could have been in flames.

William Ruto & fellow Yamune cartels don't have good intentions toward you people. You have already threatened to weaken his political muscles, imagine what he might do if he secured another term with little support from Mount Kenya. When you hear his errand boys say “wale wakabila,” do you think they mean everyone in opposition including the Kamba and Kisii?

No,, it is you our brothers, the people of Mount Kenya whom they primarily refer. So as you prepare for the by-elections next week, don’t think only of winning the seat, consider the consequential aftermath if Ruto concludes he has lost significant support in Mount Kenya.

For instance, in Mbeere North the opposition candidate should aim to win decisively,, ideally by more than 80% bcoz a narrow victory would allow Ruto’s camp to claim continued legitimacy. So our dear brothers from Mt Kenya, sit down, think strategically, and weigh the long-term consequences before anyone of you sing “Tutam.”

Kama sisi wakale wenzao wenye tunapinga serkali wanatushikia mishale katikati ya town mchana all because we are demonstrating, what do you think they can do to you when they secure a second term & you dare question their kakistocratic regime.

Ooooops! I almost forgot they barbequed innocent women & children inside a church, I wonder how low we can go beyond such atrocities. It's either you people unite & join other like minded Kenyans to send this regime home, or perish while divided. The choice is yours!!