Jonás-No-Yónaz

Ya no se armó nada.

[ale @arroba_alfaro]

nmms mija, vente cenada a la peda, las chips son para todos

[vicentegtz @vicentegtz]

"Filtran que el director de Radio UNAM gastó $175,000 en restaurantes" 🚨
Haces la matemática (enero 2024 - abril 2026): son 28 meses.
Da $6,250 pesos al mes.
Carnal, eso son como dos comidas en Coyoacán jajaj.

[Jonás-No-Yónaz @jonopolisia]

No sé a quién le entregué mis datos pero acá el juego del día. Yo veo una persona colada pero ok.

[Bored Poster @D_Thaumaturge]

I’m so glad someone brought this
to subwaytakes because so many of you are there and you need to be checked

[Y'alldabaoth @FadedAfRuatha]

I am going to reduce my drug use by moving to Drug City with my close personal friend Mr. Drugs

[Jonás-No-Yónaz @jonopolisia]

La película del Avatar fácilmente pudo ser dos temporadas de la caricatura y me molesta que no lo haya sido.

[gui @urreyding]

ya mejor que gane quien se les de su perra gana pnche mundial feo

[Jonás-No-Yónaz @jonopolisia]

Que raro que acá no haya una epidemia de diarrea explosiva, ¿no? Casi como que no saben ni lavar o desinfectar las putas verduras por allá.

[Solutrean 🟦⬜🟩 @SolutreanDACA]

The USG contracted Disney during WW2 to produce a film telling Mexicans not to poop on crops.

That was 80 years ago.

They still poop on crops.

[Boring Milner @BoringMilner]

I used to think I couldn’t be swayed by advertising, but this World Cup has given me the urge to buy a barrel of crude oil from Saudi Aramco.

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

Sorry you have to go out like this Morocco. This is for the greater good. We have a mission to save this World Cup from Corruption.

[🌋 @hum_dunkin]

I delayed the inevitable with my focus on the underdogs. Revolutions over. Its time to get behind Mbapoleon

[Jonás-No-Yónaz @jonopolisia]

Por ejemplo, un temor siempre presente es que un familiar (de los que me importan) o un amigo, se haga evangelista. Porque lo daría por muerto.

[Jonás-No-Yónaz @jonopolisia]

Si el fútbol les abre los ojos contra ese proyecto maldito de la CIA llamado evangelismo, me quedo siendo FIFAS toda la vida.

[Jonás-No-Yónaz @jonopolisia]

Yo que soy FIFAS desde hace un mes y por lo tanto, experto en fútbol, creo que todo de fue al carajo por el pendejo del 2 y porque sacaron al goleador Quiñones. Todo mal.

[the thicc husband & father @lukeisamazing]

the Cuban Revolution would’ve taken less than a year but they had to stop every hour to take the hardest photo of all time

[Jonás-No-Yónaz @jonopolisia]

Básicamente describe que conocieron el híper consumo, vaya logro.

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[Jonás-No-Yónaz @jonopolisia]

¿Alguien ha comprado en Temu? Porque yo cada que veo un comercial que me convence, me meto y hay como 5 minutos de cupones, ruedas de la fortuna, descuentos, descuentos rápidos, etc y se me pasan las ganas.

[Jonás-No-Yónaz @jonopolisia]

@DiablosRojosMX Ya ando medio pedo y todavía no me resuelven, se arma o no?

[Mediocre Housewife • 💕🌈 @nathsparkles]

Te mentí, no tengo Netflix, vamos a leer juntos la CARTA ENCÍCLICA MAGNIFICA HUMANITAS DEL SANTO PADRE LEÓN XIV SOBRE LA CUSTODIA DE LA PERSONA HUMANA EN EL TIEMPO DE LA INTELIGENCIA ARTIFICIAL