dj badboy

DMV | Looper

[Pulisic Insider @goldopulisic]

>ser Christian Pulisic
>americano num país que não liga pra futebol
>começa a jogar no Borussia Dortmund aos 17
>alemães me chamam de "Capitão América"
>faz história no maior da Alemanha
>vai pro Chelsea por 73 milhões de libras
> um dos Craques do Chelsea
>ajuda o Azul londrino a ganhar uma champions
>apesar de ser craque não tem tantas oportunidades no time por ser norte-americano
>vai pro maior da Itália
>Milan
>finalmente titular
>finalmente respeitado
>marca gols, assistências e ganha prêmios
>americanos começam a prestar atenção
>ESPN começa a comparar ele com o LeBron James após um maluco aparecer com a camisa dele no Trato Feito
>LeBron James
>o cara joga basquete
>mas tudo bem, é o máximo que eles conseguem processar
>"Pulisic é o LeBron do soccer"
>de repente todo americano sabe quem ele é
>10 anos de carreira, Bundesliga, Premier League, Serie A
>o que me colocou no radar foi namorar a loira do Euphoria
>pega a Sydney Sweeney
>apoia o Trump
>coloca os EUA de volta a Copa do Mundo em 2022
>coloca os EUA Na Copa de 2026
>a esperança de mais de 335 milhões de americanos
>destruindo o Paraguai na estreia da Copa
>o Maior jogador Americano de todos os tempos.

[LukeCB14 @LukeCB14]

🚨BREAKING🚨

Zohran Mamdani is forcing New Yorkers to play Master Crota's End with him.

"I want the armor set bonus for my solar titan build."

[Brandt “The Golden Doodle” Snedeker @sneds_brandt]

Always the Indian, never the arrow.

[#KCFC @MIK3MCDANIEL]

ITS FUCKING SOCCER NIGGA

[CB "MacDaddy" Macdonald @CBMacdonald1855]

Patriot.

[tippity @tippity]

RAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHH

[ape attack survivor @pissvortex]

#WeAreAllGoingToLiveNoMatterWhat

[Cimmerian Pervert @cimmerian_v]

“When the boys book a tee time and call us up to the tee box, it's custom for each to nail a ball mark to the oak by the cart path.

And if we shoot under par, to take it down.

Oh, it's a great oak tree.

And yet, it's often hard to find a spare bit to nail a new ball marker.”

[dj badboy @jonpc123]

@casualclubguy Northeast harbor golf club on mt desert island Maine (Acadia)

[dj badboy @jonpc123]

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK #rapethespurs

[brandon* @brndxix]

if you talk during the cars rerelease you will be gunned down

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

When the Argonian baddie you took home from the tavern clamps down on it and starts doing death rolls

[Kyle Kushblasta @SkinnyTuna]

is it too rick now to say morty?

[Sethy @Brizksie]

snapchat me that pussy or facetime me that pussy if its, coo

[insane freak guy @Beer_Pisser]

Took a half lb shit in my shorts. Squishy, got my butt all muddy, stinky

[Slumdog_Chillionaire @SlumRNA_Dog]

My wife texts me to ask if I can get her and her sisters coffee at the coffee shop staffed by hot girls after I drop the kids off at school, “sure honey,” I say as I sigh, reach under my seat, grab my penis pump and jelq my beef up to maximum print under my gray sweatpants.

[basil @blis5ful]

im a marine biologist and this is my latest discovery

[Wemby Alien Era @WembyAlienEra]

Kevin Garnett goes OFF at Paul Pierce's Spurs in 5 pick in true KG fashion:

"Knick's finna smash 'em. Aight n*gga, can the boy play in the pressure cooker? Huh? Can he come in Madison Square and play? And ain't no going to play no chess and going to Carbone and think you going to be in the streets of New York.

Nah n*gga you gonna be in that hotel room. Ain't no going out n*gga. You don't want to be out in this storm. You won't be out in the next storm n*gga. That's crazy, f*ck this n*gga talkin' bout.

Knicks gonna bone these n*ggas."

Alright KG calm down 😹😹😹

#GoSpursGo #PorVida