Roman Zolanski

My friends tweet what I say/ I test jokes.

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

@DannyDeVito my friends daughter is obsessed with you. She needs some Devito merch. Please help.

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

How in the hell could someone own a record label and yet hate artists this much? This isn’t about art but money and control. Shame on @scottborchetta and @scooterbraun. You’re gross. #ISTANDWITHTAYLORSWIFT 💗 @taylorswift13 @taylornation13

[Taylor Swift @taylorswift13]

Don’t know what else to do

[Adam Rippon @AdamRippon]

NOT RIGHT 😡 TAYLOR WE LOVE YOU ❤️

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

Hey @Spotify do you know how mad I am that I can’t just put my library on shuffle? 😡

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

What the fuck is up with @Spotify fighting me on just putting all my songs on shuffle for fucks sake? It’s an asshole about it.

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

@Sia @scooterbraun Fuck you and your basic pop songs that say nothing. You sold out your own creativity for money too so I’m not surprised.

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

Well @taylorswift13 sounds like @foofighters Pretender to me on ME! Am I high??

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

@ShawnMendes I dont care about your sexuality. This is an lgbt anthem. Thank you. 🏳️‍🌈

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

Why is no one talking about @taylorswift13’s #BDE ??? 😂 🍆

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

@garbage @YouTube Shirl, What r ur thoughts on this? Surreal really.

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

If you just self title this album @taylorswift13 what does that mean? #taylurking @taylornation13

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

If @taylorswift13 doesn’t use any clues and just calls the album bullfrog I wouldn’t even be mad. It would be savage. #taylorlurking @taylornation13

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

Fine, @VancityReynolds. You win. It took me 3 years but #Deadpool is perfect and probably your most nuanced performance since Buried. Please fix the rest of the MCU. thx.

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

Thanos is basically Al Gore in An Inconvenient Truth. #AvengersEndgame

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

The only #AvengersEndgame spoiler you should be mad about is that Goopy Paltrow is in it.

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

Scarlett Johansson totally thought she was up for the role of Black Panther when she auditioned, didn’t she? #avengersendgame

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

And the album title sounds like an angry credit card.

[Roman Zolanski @jonthinksalot]

My favorite part of @Madonna’s new video is her trying so hard to be care-free that it looks like she’s going to pop a blood vessel #madamex