Jonathan W. Pace

Exoplanet in the Goldilocks zone.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

Realizing anew how egregious the Aladdin live action recasting was. How are you gonna use Will Smith, a guy who can't take a joke, in place of Robin Williams, a guy who took tons of them.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

nevermind. turned out fine.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

As someone who survived the Texas sesquicentennial of 1986, I am dreading the US semiquincentennial. The license plates, the merch, the tshirts. Can we please just say 250 or a quarter-millennium or anything but the dreaded S-word?

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

Wait, are you guys saying that before the cyclospora outbreak that you ate Taco Bell and *didn't* have explosive diarrhea?

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

I'm enjoying "Landman" & they get a lot about living in TX right, but did this guy really just decide he was gonna drive from Midland to Corpus Christi real quick to talk to somebody and then drive home? Enjoy your magic rocket truck I guess. I hope you get a telephone someday.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

@MikeMacRaeMike This is a problem that fixes itself. Don't give it a raise and the AI will just quit after one season.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

@thecollegehill "on the topic of weird Al"

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

@MarthaKelly3 Congrats Martha. I'm very much looking forward to seeing you in this movie and also seeing Barry on rocket skates.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

The >300 episodes of Hot Ones end with an invite to plug/promote (which is why the guest is there). It's phrased: "Let the ppl know what you have going on in your life", which always utterly baffles and confuses the guest, but Sean doesn't change the phrasing. I respect that.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

Bill Hader is the greatest game show host to have never hosted a game show.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

Overheard at coffeeshop:
guy: the playlist here has gotten way better. they're playing more current stuff. It used to be all classic rock.
girl: is it more current, or is the music you grew up with now classic rock?
then the guy's face went ashen; he turned to dust and blew away

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

@YourPalBKO @aduncancarson Hey, that's my HEB and they just finished a remodel if it helps.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

@raminnazer So, I can make bread from them?

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

@jakeisacrazy1 @shagbark_hick @HeddyNajjar Rabbits are not rodents. Different mammalian order Lagomorpha

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

@ManuclearBomb I completely understand that they didn’t invent the word “Excellent” but they certainly invented the way I say it.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

Funniest outcome is Trump winning the popular and Harris winning the Electoral College and Presidency because then we get to see reds and blues swap their position on the EC in real time.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

@briangaar For gardening, gotta be Squash Vine Borers. I mean, I hate mosquitos and roaches to, but if I could eliminate just one I think it'd be SVB.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

If you look at a picture of them you realize Men At Work, The Village People, and Men Without Hats should all switch names.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

Don't blame Conan.

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

Why are you, as a website, wanting to "Show Notifications"?

[Jonathan W. Pace @jonwilkespace]

Watching a standup special. The closed captions keep saying [polite laughter] and I wonder if the caption guy knows what a devastating burn that is.