Jon Allison

Storyteller, Marketing Strategist, and total freak in the gym/sack.

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

I propose a toast.

No.

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

@Easton_Baseball 👀

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

The NBA would easily field offers from @Westin to rename Western conference the Westin conference.

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

As I sit on the brink of 35, I realize that if anything big or bad happens to me, I'll be summed up as merely "Virginia man."

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

@vtjake Mountains are lit tho

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

I've been to West Virginia and can honestly attest that it is "almost heaven." Imagine just missing getting into heaven but being nevertheless doomed to hell for all eternity, and all the grime and stink and lack of boundaries that comes with that

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

"Almost Heaven," after all, means "Actually Hell."

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

@markherritt I'm embarrassed I haven't. Is it the long-awaited sequel to Feel 100%? Does Ekin Chang once again get a girl's phone number by quickly solving a calculus equation she jotted down on a post it note to make him work for it??

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

Everything autoplaying on Netflix brings me back to the stressful moment at the end of your Blockbuster trip when everyone is arguing passionately about the movies they're clutching in their death grips. Except on Netflix I'm the annoyed parent.

[mark herritt @markherritt]

Birthday wishes so far; mom, dad, Aunt Bonnie, my brothers real estate agent.

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

@MatthewBerryTMR $350 was decided by 0.08 pts (1 yard) at the last minute. The trophy was mine until stupid Damien Williams caught that stupid screen at end of Chiefs v Seahawks. We had all the drama: Gurley's last min inactivity. Jujus fumble. Rodgers explosion. And stupid Damien. @ryanmhatcher

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

@BigCheds So why did I just put my wife's savings in? It was going to be next year's bday gift.

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

Denmark descends into deep mass depression, proving what everyone else knew: being THAT happy only comes from years of repression. #WorldCup

[David Wain @davidwain]

I hate how these days in hipster bars and restaurants they make you have to climb up that stupid rope just go to the bathroom and then you have to be hanging from the rope ten feet above the toilet just to pee and it goes everywhere. Seems so pointless.

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

@JonathanMerritt trying to get your podcast on @pocketcasts but it's telling me there's a problem with the "author's server." Shots fired! Thought you should know

[Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈 🇺🇦 @craiguito]

“MAY I REMIND YOU THIS IS A LIBRARY?”

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

Me, as the @SpiritAirlines flight attendant bursts in the bathroom to find us joining the mile high club: "Maybe if you had some in-flight entertainment or I could lean my chair back to sleep we wouldn't have to do this."

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

Just asked #Alexa to play some songs in Canada, but I wonder where in Canada she's playing them? @MobileSyrup I'd play some pretty different stuff for Vancouver audience vs. Nova Scotia. https://t.co/dMNIXudWBf

[Jon Allison @jonzissou]

@TomQuigleyHere @netw3rk @lilhudman @BobGuBobGu is addicted now. It won't be long for you two now