Josh McCormick

[Sebastian Ballister @rakishromantic]

occasionally people will post, with pride, accounts of lives so wretched an atheist would be inclined to pray for everyone involved

[ShireStrike @ShireStrike]

They’re lying to us about the obesity rate

[derpy @derpyez]

no babe thats my emotional support platonic homegirl that i'm a little attracted to

[Bill Boobichick @RamsesTar]

My ex should be serving life in prison for animal abuse for the way she treated the goat

[Haru 🇺🇸 @HaruhiismOtaku]

They were actually right

[地獄ケーキ(Hokusaist)👹🐉��️🇺🇸 @JigokuCake]

Engineer: "Getting a lot of machine vibes from this ancient temple."

Biotech guy: "That can't be right. I'm getting microbiological vibes."

[Amaan Jahangir @AmaanJah]

something went wrong

[Elijah the Middleborne @TheMiddleborne]

The Romans would have seen this and immediately gone insane

[Wopavelli @TheWopObama]

In American slang we often refer to money as “benjamins” this is a subtle reference to Benjamin Netanyahu, an American folk figure who takes all of our money

[lusso @luusssso]

The veil is extremely thin in so many parts of the American South

[AltAzn @Alt_Azn]

Korean who immigrated 50 years ago: I don't know if I should vote, it isn't my country.

Indian who got off the plane last week: We need gun control! We need to raise taxes! America needs drastic change! Where do I sign up to run for office?

[JoeLongBalls @JoeLongBalls]

sucks ass, should be a skull with knives behind it so the aliens know what the fuck is up

[NEETzsche @NEETzscheIDDQD]

Boomer historical revisionism forgets that the median homebuyer in 1995 was 31. The median homebuyer in 2025 was 59. The boomerocracy is gaslighting you.

[Denzel Rust @AdemLuz]

Everyone is always rooting for you. Your parents want you to be a great son. Wife wants you to be a great husband. Your boss wants you to be a slam dunk hire. Every first date you’ve ever been on they’ve been rooting for you to get laid. Every time you started to tell a joke people hoped it would have a hilarious punch line. Your proximity to anyone is a reflection of themself, meaning the deck is never stacked against you, and your failures are completely your own

[Rich 🐺 @heywildrich]

around this time, when i first started driving, if i had $20, i could get gas, a pizza, and a used video game from Electronic Boutique at the mall for PS2 / GameCube

whole place went to fuck in 20 years

[🫵🏿 @swishnomiss]

We used to play for nudes back then

[Blizzard Arms @BlizzardArmsLLC]

@roving_brah I have been known to yell "stop resisting" when I club a fish to death on occasion

[Vril Nye @VrilNyeX]

Shane Gillis is an American Patriot