Jordan

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

@jamieerex It’s not even the mother in law thing, it’s being a fucking chick thing. Bachelor parties are for bachelors, bachelorettes are for bachelorettes. End of fucking god damn story

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

Next two weekends are gunna be full of open bars and open dance floors 😎

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

@jornicdey @jamieerex They’re trash

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

@TakeAChance295 Oh shit 🫢 5 years?… now I’m a little scared lol

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

I always thought it was super strange when girls would buy guys deodorant, here I am, almost 30, buying old spice bc womens deodorant ain’t shit.

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

@TakeAChance295 That’s what I’ve heard! So far so good, and we’re about a month in. Poor lil pitties 🥺

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

@jamieerex For real tho lol

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

Fucking checkout at Aldi, man…

[CALCIUM 💀 @calciumdubs]

does anyone else get anxiety when ur in a busy grocery store lol

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

Cody keeps taking large items/furniture/gadgets from his family members, but has zero space to put it. So annoying, but I think if I let him legit fill up the house, he’ll finally realize we need a bigger one… I’m in a pickle.

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

Y’all twats better test run your furnace right fucking now, bc when Cody gets mad he’s gotta come fix your shit, I’m sending his crabby ass over to you to take the heat.

[⋆ @lowkeyalbert]

i be like “omg, i have so much to do” and lay down

[Noor ✭ @Noorthevirgo]

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can't keep living like this.

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

@jamieerex Umi and BC aren’t on your list?

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

Cody just left for a golf outing, it’s just me, bug, scary movies, and my two doordash orders 😂 what a lovely Sunday

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

I can’t believe they got rid of the jalapeño popper salad at Wendy’s. That was equivalent to your guys snack wrap at McDonald’s 😞

[JayJay ᥫ᭡ @Jameca2011]

It’s not happy wife, happy life.

It’s happy spouse, happy house. You both matter.

[M 🍓 @babyariees]

I love being home alone ugly and at peace 😭

[Jordan @jordanbrite]

The level of stupidity I’ve encountered today should be illegal