Jordan Calvert

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

Sometimes I wonder if the people I love care about me in return.

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

Just got the first job I interviewed for! Come visit me at Francesca's 😘

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

Talking about Jen from the Little Couple: "I wonder if dwarves can twerk?!" #shitdaddysays

[Ryan Russell @RyanRussell247]

Tell me who else got a Segway cop in the parking lot? #RIPGhettoHEB

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

throwin back to 2 months ago doesn't count OMG people get it together

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

God, will you please just give me a sexy cowboy?

[Condescending Wonka @OhWonka]

$800 for an iPhone 6? It better be fireproof, dirt proof, waterproof, girlfriend proof and siri better twerk on command.

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

You know you're tired when you fall asleep. Sitting up. Two days in a row. For two hours. #ow #myneck

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

In less than 48 hours I will be a Texas gal!! ❤

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

My uncle just ate one of my dog's cookies. @MohamidMaddog

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

Tell the devil I said hey when you get back to where you're from.

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

Seinfeld was playing in Walmart. Maybe there is a little hope for humanity.

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

@orangela77 you always want to watch Les Mis

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

Some lady was mad when the 20 year old tv she bought for twenty bucks caught on fire...😂😂

[Jordan Calvert @jordanecalvert]

I'm going to buy a red Harley. For my fortieth birthday