Jordan

[Jordan @jordank_95]

“Alexa, play Cut the Cord”
-my 4 year old as she headbangs through the kitchen

[Jordan @jordank_95]

@timkuehner Obviously because of the way you eat spaghetti

[Jordan @jordank_95]

The fact that I’m mentally doing the math to see how many more bottles I can get out of the cans of formula we have left until I can find another one. It shouldn’t be like this. My heart hurts for everyone struggling

[Jordan @jordank_95]

Someone please please please give me all the hair knowledge on how to help it grow. I’m losing so much of it since having baby I don’t know how many days I have until I’m going to be bald 😭

[Jordan @jordank_95]

walmart for the win with the new body spray

[Jordan @jordank_95]

My toddler to be specific. Especially when I tell her we can’t go to the park. Highly recommend NOT telling a small child they can’t go to the park. It’s not worth it

[Jordan @jordank_95]

The only term of endearment I have for a toddler is crotch goblin

[Jordan @jordank_95]

My nurse sat with me for an hour washing and brushing my hair because some medicine had solidified in it days before in a dif hospital and she noticed it. She then proceeded to braid it and talk with me to keep my nerves calm. Some people are truly just made for these jobs

[Jordan @jordank_95]

Pregnancy is hard. You know what’s even harder? Having a toddler at the same time. A toddler who is currently obsessed with taekwondo videos and likes to use you to practice her kicks…kids are great dude.

[stranger things @Stranger_Things]

welcome to the creel house

[Jordan @jordank_95]

@j__Momma Miss lady you could still do it

[Nick Jr. @nickjr]

So about that time Steve went off to college… #BluesClues25

[Jordan @jordank_95]

4 WHOLE DAYS with no toddler and I’m already clueless like what do people do with so much free time

[Jordan @jordank_95]

I can make my child the most extravagant meal for dinner and it NEVER FAILS that she requests chicken nuggets around 9 o’clock every night. Every. Single. Night.

[Jordan @jordank_95]

@j__Momma I was thinking of waiting until fall..more of a spooky season stabbing? A love stab tho 🥺🧡

[Jordan @jordank_95]

What it’s like living with a toddler:

[Jordan @jordank_95]

Someone please come up with a way to redo my tattoo because I’m not creative and 19 y/o Jordan had no taste.

[Jordan @jordank_95]

Reason no. 2957 my toddler has cried today

I didn’t cover my nose when I changed her poopy diaper

[Jordan @jordank_95]

Do people actually run out of shampoo and conditioner at the same time? Because I’m convinced it’s a myth