Jordan's Not Here

This is not a place of honor.
Insta: @jordan.oaktree
Art Acc: @jordans.art.graveyard

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

People wonder why I’m the way I am until they find out my main sources of entertainment as a child were Isaac Asimov, Edgar Allen Poe and Kim Possible.

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

Of course I'm stressed. I'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves me.

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

I can't believe there was ever a world where people didn't know America Ferrera is drop dead gorgeous

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

Arachne of Earth 816. They're very upset that no one seems to get the reference... #SpiderVerse #spidersona

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

One of my favorite pastimes is watching men listen to Taylor Swift and losing their minds. It's healing.

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

It proceeded to become one of the most popular books in the US within three months, so I looked like a little trend setter.

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

My mom handed me a copy of Hunger Games when I was in 5th grade, sighed, and said "This, unfortunately, seems like something you'd like. Please don't tell other parents I let you read this."

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

This is some pick me bullshit.

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

I can’t be the only one sick of the “let’s make a musical about how annoying musicals are” trope. Just enjoy your little song and dance!

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

Can someone develop a drug that feels like your dad carrying you in from the car because you fell asleep?

[Annabel Jessica Goldsmith @thatlacavagirl]

Films where the director and writer hated each other, nothing like it

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

Barbarian is the perfect example of a horror movie I would survive because I would've left the second I saw that bed. Nope. Not happening. Fuck Keith. I'm out.

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

The Tokyo Ghoul fandom cannot be dead because I am, currently, still alive.

[bailey gesserit @been_herde]

they need to leave hugh jackman alone. stop sentencing that man to the gym and let him sing his little songs

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

Y'all are really losing it over a bleach blonde who can't get it up?

[Vasilisa @vasilisonka]

happy sunday, can’t wait to find out what daemon targaryen crimes i will be defending tonight!

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

The concept of sunk fallacy and I hate fuck on the weekends.

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

the bennet family when mr. collins insists on reading aloud from fordyce's sermons to young women

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

Parents: Our daughter is doing so well at school.
Me: *turns in a paper called Essay 2: Electric Boogaloo*

[Poe Zone 666 @PrairieIre]

I carry the unimaginable burden of understanding what French people are saying

[Jordan's Not Here @jordanoaktree]

Horror movies are supposed to be a form of escapism. So why do men keep putting SA scenes in all of them?